1.
It had been a week after Jenny Calendar had died that Buffy started getting sick. At first she had thought it had been heartache. The love of her life turned into a monster, (literally,) and the pain of losing him forever had made her physically ill. Then Jenny had died and Buffy was still ill, grief, of course. Then another week passed and after a small confrontation with Angelus, she had been put into a hospital.
It was there that a quiet nurse informed her that she was pregnant. She hadn’t told her mother though, or the kind man with the English accent pacing anxiously outside. When she let them in, Buffy said she was doing better and that they were discharging her that afternoon.
She hadn’t told them.
It was easy to hide it at first. Though her mother knew she had been with an older man, she never brought it up again. It was almost as if she could pretend it never happened and it would be true. If she ignored Buffy, she wouldn’t have to think of things like that. Buffy used the neglect to her advantage. Her mother didn’t notice her frequent bathroom breaks or the food she consumed.
It was harder to hide from her friends, but she simply shrugged when they questioned and she ignored Cordelia comments about retaining water. The following months were harder as she started to show, but Buffy had hid it. It was amazing what baggy shirts and pants could hide. No one took notice. Well, except for Cordelia of course.
She kept it to herself and cried every night and wondered how it was that she got here. With everyday it grew harder. Harder to lie, harder to avoid Angelus, harder to keep the baby a secret. It was in early May that she had a feeling that he suspected something was off about her.
Then Angelus had tried to suck the world into hell and she found the perfect opportunity to run. She couldn’t imagine raising a child without Angel with her, or the fact that it went against everything she was supposed to be standing for. High school student, daughter, Slayer, friend: there was simply no place for a child.
But Buffy wasn’t going to give it up. And now, here she was, staring out a window in a dingy apartment with hardly enough money to support herself, let alone a baby.
Food went fast. And what little money she had, she had used for the rent. But there was Lily, a sweet girl and her boyfriend who invited her over for dinner every other night. And Mr. Jacobson, a elderly black man who made stale biscuits and offered them to anybody who would eat them.
Buffy sometimes wondered, if she hadn’t turned scared, if she had stayed, would they have understood? Would they have offered her comfort and support? Buffy knew immediately that Xander would be the first to say no. That he’d probably want an exorcism or worse, hurt her baby.
She brought her hands up to her swollen tummy and ran her hands assuringly over her shirt. No, they probably wouldn’t. No matter how badly things were, the truth of the matter was that she was on her own. Raising a baby, possibly demonic baby, by herself.
“It’ll be okay.” She whispered, crawling onto the bed. “It’ll be okay,”
It had to be.
2.
On Tuesday night Buffy Summers went to sleep and dreamt of Angel. The next morning, when she awoke, she was pregnant.
Buffy pushed the sheet aside and suddenly her stomach was the size of a melon. She had placed a hand on her swollen belly in disbelief and had barely registered what it was she had dreamt last night when Dawn walked in, babbling, “You have to get up! Willow’s locked in the bathroom and you’re my ride to school--Oh my God! What the hell happened?!”
The blond slayer barely had time to admonish her little sister for saying the word, ‘hell’, when Willow suddenly appeared in the doorway. Concern on her tear stained face. “Dawn, why are you yelling? I--oh my Goddess, Buffy!”
Dawn missed school and soon Buffy found herself sitting in the living room of her home, surrounded by all of her friends: except for Spike. He was there, but she didn’t and would never think of him as her friend. Or anything else, for that matter. Not after he had tried to kiss her two nights ago.
“Giles, what’s going on? Is she going to be okay?” Dawn was practically fluttering all about her, which was sweet but also wearing thin on the very pregnant Slayer’s nerves.
“I don’t--how--” Giles was barely stringing coherent sentences together while he gaped along with Xander. Tara and Willow surrounded her, sitting on either side of her to comfort and avoid one another. Anya and Spike looked bored, yet strangely intrigued.
“I had a dream about Angel, I woke up and I was pregnant.” Buffy supplied. She ignored the disgusted look Spike threw her and focused on Anya who started speaking
“He could be seeking to impregnate you with his child through mystical means.” She said, “Since you can’t have sex, I mean. If I had my powers, I’d turn him into a ham. Forcing women to bear his children--men!” And with that she stormed off with Xander following close behind, saying things about modern ages and stone ages and technological artificial ages.
“I don’t think Angel would do this,” Willow said, “But the mystical thing might be a clue. Do you remember anything specific in the dream?”
Buffy flushed and mumbled something about a hotel room and a bed and blue sheets. Oh, and a strange figurine that Giles quickly denitrified as a fertility statue. It was decided, after much heated discussion that perhaps Buffy should confront Angel with the news. With Willow of course, since she needed the distraction.
When they entered the intimidating hotel, it was a frail, mousy brown haired woman who greeted them. “Welcome to Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless--Oh my gosh, you’re pregnant! Oh, come right over here, sit, sit! I’ll get ya some warm milk, would you like a sandwich? Do you need a blanket? Oh, maybe a heating pad or some ice for your ankles? Oh, gosh, how along are you?”
“I’m fine,” Buffy protested, but the women was already hurrying out of the lobby and into another room. When she looked for Willow, she redhead was speaking with a tall black man while the both stole glances at her.
Eventually, Wesley, Cordelia, and Angel came into the lobby, all three seeming to be chatting about some vision thing Cordelia had seen earlier. Wesley said upon entering, “Well, was it a oval shaped blob or a circular shaped blob?”
“I don’t know, it was a blob! A big round blob with blobby stuff around it!”
Angel began, “But when you say blob--”
“Excuse me!” Buffy hollered, gaining their attention. “Yeah, hi, pregnant lady over here. Needs some help.”
“Buffy--”
The mousy women snuck by them, “Oh, I see you’ve all met her. Y’know, she’s pregnant! Here you are, nice warm milk.” She handed the glass to Buffy who sipped it politely.
Sometime after everyone’s initial shock and jumping to conclusions and Buffy’s sudden outburst of tears, Willow explained that the pregnant slayer had had a dream about Angel on Tuesday night and woke up today suddenly pregnant. Very pregnant.
Wesley had quickly recognized the fertility statue Willow described and explained that it was used in several ancient demonic societies to speed up the pregnancy process since the women in their tribes lived such short lives. Buffy watched as Angel and his group murmured things about lawyers and wolves and something about a heart. Oh God, what if she had to eat a heart terminate the pregnancy--
Buffy paused and Willow looked up from the blanket she was tucking around Buffy after they had escorted her up into a vacant hotel room.
“It doesn’t matter.” Buffy said, “I don’t care how I got pregnant, I don’t care if it comes out a demon, I’m not getting rid of this baby. I won’t.”
They brought in a green demon wearing a off colored suit late into the night. He asked her to sing and she hummed a lullaby for a minute before he declared it was perfectly human and perhaps they should seek out some prophets for further confirmation.
That’s how Buffy spent the next week, laying in bed. She spoke to Dawnie on the phone about some boy she had a crush on in her algebra class, she let the mousy woman, Fred, fawn over her along with Lorne and Willow. She heard snippets of what was going on. Gunn hitting the streets, Wes seeing soothsayers and fortunetellers, while Angel fought powerful demon visionaries for information.
Angel had brought her ice cream with spicy hot taco sauce exactly one week after she woke up pregnant. She was licking the spoon when he told her, “It’s human. Completely, but it’s going to be a powerful baby. People will want to kill it--”
“I--”
“I won’t let anything happen to the baby, Buffy. I promise.” Angel swore, holding her hand. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll take care of you.”
Buffy believed him. Then asked for more taco sauce.
3.
It was tea and crackers again, in the basement.
Three months had passed since the demon attacked and Angel had become human. Three months of complete and utter bliss for them both, three months of adjusting to the long distance thing, three months of adjusting becoming a human fighter and not a vampire one.
Buffy played with her tea cup and Angel could see that she was worried about something. When she had called earlier that week, in the middle of college tests, fear and worry lacing her voice, he had done all he could to comfort her. But there had been more on Buffy’s mind than just tests and frat parties and slaying.
Angel sipped his tea and looked imploringly at the young woman across from him.
Buffy grabbed a cracker, nibbled, then looked into the recesses of her tea.
“I’m pregnant,” She managed, before standing and walking towards the lofty elevator.
It took Angel a minute to realize what she said, and another five minutes to catch up with her, (due to the multiple elevator trips,). He found her in his office, sitting on his large chair, looking very small and very helpless. She was holding the picture they took several weeks ago when they went to the beach for the first time and watched the sun rise.
“I’m... I’m sorry,” She sniffed, then started crying. And for the life of him, Angel couldn’t do anything. He didn’t know what to do.
“I’m sorry--I didn’t, I didn’t think that I could--we were--” She sniffed again, “Okay, so we weren’t exactly careful, but I didn’t think I could get pregnant... I’m the Slayer. Slayers don’t get pregnant.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Angel finally said after the silence settled.
“Say anything,” Buffy looked up at him, “Just--just don’t leave me...”
That’s when he was suddenly kneeling in front of her, hands gripping her thin arms, his eyes staring into hers. “I will never leave you, Buffy. Certainly not because of this--I. I don’t know what to say because I never thought we could...”
Buffy blinked as he leaned forward, resting his head onto her shoulder. “It’s going to be difficult.” He murmured into her neck, “We don’t live for ourselves, we live in a world so... so horrible and the thought of our child having to grow up in it scares me. The thought that something might happen to you and I not being able to do anything scared me before, but now--now I’m worrying for two?”
Buffy sniffled, but he could hear the smile in her voice, “Somebody has to.”
“We’ll make it work.” Angel murmured. “You’ll see.”
She smiled, “Okay.”
4.
There was a large gash across Angel’s forehead. That was the first thing Buffy notices when they finally stopped running. He looked exhausted, sweaty and grimy, covered in blood and Gods knew what else. The broadsword he held in one hand was soaked in several shades of red while his other hand hadn’t loosened its iron grip on her own.
“Angel, you’re hurt,” Buffy said, reaching up with her freehand to wipe the spilling blood.
“It doesn’t hurt.” Angel confesses.
She gave him a look.
“Okay, some of it hurts.” He replies, wincing at some muscle or bone in his shoulder thanks to some sort of ninja fighting vampire. Which is dead now, by the way.
Buffy sighs then winces and Angel let go her hand. Their hands immediately touch her large stomach, and Angel traces the large curve carefully.
“Is--are you okay?” Angel asks. “I shouldn’t have made you run in your condition--”
“I’m fine.” Buffy lets out another wince, then sighs, “Yes--I, he’s just kicking. He’s all excited because his daddy’s out here fighting and he wants to join him.”
Angel smiles, if only for a moment. “You still think it’s a boy.”
“Of course!” Buffy retorted, petulant, “A mother knows this stuff.”
Truthfully, Angel is hoping for a little girl with honey curls and big eyes and Buffy’s nose. But he knows that Buffy wants a boy with his dark hair and his dark eyes and his brooding tendencies. So he humors her.
“He’ll be great at soccer. Or kick boxing. Or some sports thing where there’s general kicking involved.” Angel says cupping her cheek.
Buffy tries to smile, but there are tears in her eyes. They’re trapped underground in the sewers and Angel’s been fighting off vampires and demons since they escaped the hotel. She doesn’t remember if the others made it or not, but can only hope that they’re okay and are looking for them right now.
“It’ll be alright.” Angel promises, though his voice breaks as he says it.
“How can you be sure?” Buffy cries. “Our baby, they’re after our--” Her hands are shaking, one covering her belly and the other holding onto Angel’s hand that is cradling her jaw.
“I can’t. I just know.” Angel replies before pulling her face close and kissing her. She’s scared and Angel knows she’s questioning their immediate future. What will happen to their baby. Angel’s just glad that they’re both still alive and intends to keep it that way. Even if he doesn’t make it, he’ll ensure that she and his child will.
When Angel pulls away, Buffy is stifling her sobs. “It won’t due any good with me crying all the time,” She had said when Angel had brought home the tiny bassinet weeks before and she had burst into spontaneous tears. The bassinet, oh, Gods--
Angel brings her close and she tries hard not to cry and scream into his shoulder. He wants to remember her, remember this before it ends. He wants to pretend for a moment that everything’s alright, that he’ll be right next to her in the hospital when she gives birth. That he’ll be able to hold his baby and watch her sleep after the labor and thank whatever higher power there is for these wonderful blessings. That maybe he’ll be mortal before his child and she grow older than he is.
But there is no higher power because they won’t even let his child be born.
Angel’s already pushing her aside as a demon comes crashing through the walls. She falls and he hopes she’s braced herself before impact. He’s fighting hard and Buffy’s on her feet again. He manages to knock the demon down, but only for a moment. He turns and their eyes meet for what seems like ages before he shouts, “Go!”
She’s crying again, but he sees her turn and runs.
Please, he thinks, please, please, don’t let anything bad happen to them--
That’s when the demon strikes him down.
5.
Not for the first time, Angel found his wife visiting the office.
At first, Angel paid no mind. Buffy wasn’t the type to be patted on the head and do everything her husband said, even if her husband was a vampire in charge of one of the most evil law firms in America. But ever since she announced her pregnancy several months later, he had tried desperately to keep her away from Wolfram & Hart.
Buffy was at his office door before lunch, smiling and glowing with warmth. Being pregnant did that to women, lit them up and made them symbols of motherhood. But Buffy was simply radiate; especially with that silky dark red maternity wear with the plunging neckline.
Before he allowed himself to indulge, Angel shot up from his desk from where he had been having yet another argument with Spike, and stood before her. She beamed up at him and he couldn’t help but smile back before worriedly asking, “Buffy, is everything alright? Did something happen? Is the baby okay?”
“Why do you assume something bad happened?” She poked a finger at the tip of his nose, “You worry too much,”
“I--” Angel turned to scowl at Spike. Of course the blond vampire was still very much in love with Buffy. But that gave him no right to be eyeing the silky red shirt she had on... or the neckline. He took her gently by the elbow and led her out of his office and into the lobby, bypassing Harmony who hurriedly tried to look busy.
“I just don’t like you here, in the midst of all this,” He kissed her forehead, “It’s dangerous. Place is saturated with evil.”
“It’s dangerous at home, too, honey.” Buffy replied softly, referring to the times they had been attacked at the apartment on the other side of town. Angel had bought it once he got involved in Wolfram & Hart. Said that the farther away Buffy was from the building, the happier he’d be. That didn’t stop regular demon activity, especially with one of the world’s oldest living Slayer’s being pregnant with the child of the vampire. Not for the first time, Angel silently blest Willow for staying with Buffy as a training midwife and protector while Angel was here.
“I know, I just--” Angel placed his hands onto her large stomach, “I just don’t want this place effecting the baby. You’re due in a few weeks.”
“Angel, I’m not Cordelia. We aren’t going to birth some peace loving, human eating evil thing. Our baby isn’t going to be kidnapped by somebody who hates you and raised to hate us. Our baby is going to be loved and safe and happy.” Buffy assured him. “You’re going to be a wonderful father and I am going to be a kick-ass hot mama.”
Angel chuckled, “You are, are you?”
“Yep!” She giggled, “See? I even made muffins.” And she did, Angel noted. A basket covered with a checkered cover hung on one of her arms. He had wound himself so tightly with worry that he hadn’t noticed until now.
“I was going to go around the office and pass them around. See how good I am at this new cooking shtick.” Buffy nodded. “I’d give one to Harmony if she still had taste buds.” She flushed, “I mean--”
“It’s okay.” He kissed her forehead again. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“Mmm.” She hummed.
“But I don’t want you walking around here alone. Have at least one of the gang with you at all times.” Angel said sternly. His wife looked a bit annoyed, before saying, “Well, that’s what I came to you for. See if you’d mind taking your wife for a repeat tour.”
“You know I would if I didn’t have meetings set up with the Ralkior tribe about destroying the Diamond Nexus. And the Crog demons about killing the Ralkior tribe, and the Priestess’ of Xera about sending the Crog demons into the Diamond Nexus.” Angel informed.
She looked thoughtfully at him, “Well, then I guess I could always ask Spike--”
“No.”
“But you didn’t even--”
“I’m saying no.” He said firmly.
“Stubborn old man,” She teased, “Gimme a kiss.”
“Mmm,” He hummed, before his lips met hers.
The End
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