Always & Forever

Always & Forever

By Aaronlisa
Author's Notes

The first time that Buffy Summers meets Angel in a dark alley, sheís only sixteen years old, in a new town and desperately trying to fit in while she avoids what she is. Later on, when she knows the truth about him, sheíll wonder why she didnít sense what he was. However at that first moment in the alley when he gives her a cross (something that should have tipped her off) all she can sense about the dark and mysterious stranger is a streak of danger that is very attractive to her.

Angel never tells her about how he first saw her when she was just fifteen years old and on the verge of finding out that she was the Slayer. He can never find the words to tell her how seeing her glow in the soft afternoon sun like a saint or Madonna as she sat on the steps of her school looking bored and annoyed with the world changed his whole life. He canít quite find the words to tell her how seeing her like that and knowing the potential that she possess made him abandoned the whole hair shirt routine that he had been living.

When Angel turns evil and becomes Angelus, itís her worse nightmare realized and she has a hard time finding the strength in herself to fight him. There are times when she thinks that itíll be easier to let him drain her dry and end the cat and mouse game that he delights in playing with her. Sheís not sure whatís harder: fighting the demon that wears the face of her beloved or knowing that she has unwittingly unleashed one of the most dangerous vampires because sheís just a human girl full of faults under the mantle of the Slayer.

His demon, Angelus, wants the Slayer just as much as Angel does. This Slayer, this petit blonde girl, is someone that Angelus wants just as much. The desire to create Hell on Earth isnít because Angelus hates humans, itís because Angelus despises the fact that he is as weak as the soul is. Spike and Drusilla constantly wonder why he toys with Buffy instead of either breaking her neck and leaving her for Giles to find or draining her dry to taste the sweet nectar that is Slayer blood. Neither of them can understand why he plays his cat and mouse games that he never takes to the next level by killing her close friends. And Angelus never admits that itís because in love with the Slayer just like the disgusting, filthy soul ever was.

Even after heís gone off to LA because he canít stay in Sunnydale because they both know itís only a matter of time before one of them gives into temptation, Angel remains the yard stick by which she measures every boy and man who comes afterwards. None of them ever really compare and even when they donít know about Angel, they somehow all know that theyíve failed some sort of test. It doesnít matter how much Buffy lies to them or to herself that sheís happy and content, they know and so does she.

Leaving Buffy was the hardest thing that he ever had to do, but he couldnít remain in Sunnydale being so close to her yet so far away at the same time. He knew that if he remained that he would have given in to sweet temptation without a single care about losing his soul once more. Tasting her one more time would have been worth being sent back to Hell once again. The only thing that stopped him from following through was the fact that he couldnít intentionally put Buffy through that once more. So he left, ran away to be honest, and tried to start over. And in LA he wasnít a monk, he bedded women and even tried to fall in love but it always failed because the woman was never her.

When Angel comes to her with an amulet that will help her to defeat the First, all Buffy can think about is him, everything else is forgotten as she hungrily drinks in the sight of him. When he pulls her into his arms and kisses her, she melts into him and kisses him as passionately as he kisses her. And then they pull apart and they start to talk seriously and she tells him that sheís still cookie dough. But what else can she do when heís angry at her for Spike? She canít tell him that a part of her attraction to Spike is because thereís so much of Angel in him. And even if Spike wasnít in the picture, Buffy knows that she has to be strong and she has to resist the desire to fall back into Angelís arms even though thereís nothing more than she wants.

Angel kisses her with a passion and desire thatís only intensified over the years. Sheís a woman now and not a girl on the brink of womanhood. It breaks her heart that she doesnít remember the few hours that they had in the sun together when he was a human and there was no curse separating them. And he canít help but ask her why sheís with Spike even if it isnít his business, after all he ran away from Sunnydale and from her. When he leaves Sunnydale for what will be the last time, thereís a part of him that still wants to stay and throw away his soul for one more night with her.

In the end, she never married. If she couldnít have Angel, there was no point. Buffy had many the love affair but they were always relatively short because no one ever compared to Angel. In the years after Sunnydale, she managed to have a child, a daughter, who became a Watcher. Angel was always waiting in the wings, always there when she needed him, yet it was never quite enough. But she greedily took what he could give her because they had tried to lead separate lives and it hadnít worked. She never cared that she grew older and he remained the young man that she had fallen in love with. All that mattered was that he was still her Angel and she was still his girl. Always and forever.

The End

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Author's Notes:
Rating: PG
Summary: Angel & Buffy share a love that's eternal.

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