***

The library wasn’t usually crowded in the morning, but if anybody in the school had been asked who the most likely occupants were, Buffy Summers, Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg would have been the first names dropped, after that of Rupert Giles, who was, in fact, the librarian. Anybody in the school would have been right.

“I mean have you seen that place?” Xander asked. It was a morning meeting of the Scoobies, which happened occasionally but could not be called common, and Xander had brought up the subject of Faith’s living accommodations. It had taken him a good month after their ‘encounter’ to work up the courage to bring it up. “It’s a rat hole. I wouldn’t wish that place on anybody.”

“Not even Angel?” Buffy asked, smiling.

“No!” he said. Then he paused, considering. “Yeah, no, I wouldn’t. It’s that bad!”

“I should look into it,” Giles said. “I suppose she is my responsibility after all.”

“What’s all this supposing crap?” Xander asked, drawing a look from the older man. “I know you got fired and all, but… look, all I’m saying is… responsible adult, young girl in a fleabag motel. What more do you want?”

“How did you find out where she lived?” Willow asked.

“Huh?” Xander asked. “Oh, I was out driving, saw her, gave her a lift home. I tell ya, that place is no good.”

“Since when are you interested in how she lives?” Buffy asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Since I saw it,” Xander said. “I mean, I figure she’s a Slayer. No way she should have living conditions worse than, you know, me.”

“Xander,” Willow said, “your living conditions aren’t that bad. I mean, it’s not as though you live in the basement.”

“I know, and that’s what I’m saying,” he said. “Faith’s room is like living in my basement, only without the washer/dryer combo. Add the fun urine smell, and the sound of people going at it in the next room, and that’s where she lives. Which, come to think of it? Less disturbing there than it would be at my house.”

“Yes, thank you for that… enlightening look at your home life, Xander,” Giles said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You were in her room?” Willow asked.

“She offered me the use of her bathroom,” he lied. “I had just had one of those, you know, super big Slurpees, and I had to go.”

“Oh,” Willow said, accepting the story.

“Still,” Giles said, “it’s a valid point. She shouldn’t be living such a disreputable place. I’ll see what can be done. In the mean time, in what free moments you have, I would appreciate it if we could get this library in shape. I imagine my… replacement will be arriving any time now.”

“If this one’s evil,” Buffy said, “I’m gonna just quit the Council.”

“Yes, well,” Giles said, “I’m certain that shan’t be a problem.”

At that moment, the bell rang, and the Scoobies all had to get to their first period classes.

***

Xander stood in the library that day during what should have been his last class, sorting some books for Giles, waiting for the rest of the gang to show up. He heard the double doors swing open behind him, and turned, smiling, to greet whoever had entered. His smile faltered for a split second, but quickly returned to his face.

"Hey, Faith," he said, shelving a couple of the books he was holding. "What's going on?"

Faith was wringing her hands, and looked stressed. She avoided his eyes.

"Faith?" Xander asked, concerned. "You okay?"

"You remember that night a while ago?" she asked. "You know, when we screwed after those demon bitches tried to kill me?"

Xander held back a chuckle, but was amused by her bluntness. "Uh... yeah. I'm not likely to forget that anytime soon. Why?"

Faith looked up at him. "I'mlate,” she rushed out.

Xander's face scrunched up in confusion. "Omelet?" he asked. “Are you inviting me to breakfast or something?”

"No, man, listen," she said. "I'm... *late*.”

"Oh," Xander said. "Oh. Well... okay. I know just the thing." He promptly fainted.

***

“He’s coming around,” said a vaguely masculine voice through the haze of a throbbing headache.

Xander groaned loudly as his eyes worked their way open and he returned to consciousness. He looked around without moving his head, and recognized Giles kneeling over him.

“Are you all right?” Giles asked, as he helped Xander sit up. “What happened?”

“Huh?” Xander asked.

“We found you in here alone, unconscious on the floor,” said a feminine voice. Xander’s eyes swiveled the other way and he could make out blonde hair. Blonde hair meant Buffy.

“Uh,” Xander said. “I don’t know. I think I passed out.”

“Are you sure?” Giles asked. “Nothing attacked you or…”

“No…” Xander said dragging the word out. He looked around the room as if searching for something. “No, I was just putting some books away and… boom. I’m out.”

“Here, have some water,” Buffy said, handing him a glass. “That’s really weird, you just passing out like that.”

“I’m not too keen on it either,” said Xander. He rubbed the back of his head. “And might I add, ow.”

“Here, let’s get you properly seated,” Giles said. He nodded to Buffy, who lifted Xander to his feet to lead him over to the table. “I’ll fetch you an ice pack from the teacher’s lounge.”

“Thanks,” Xander said. He allowed himself to be manhandled over to the table, and slumped down in a chair just as Willow and Oz entered the room.

“Hey guys!” Willow said. Xander looked up at her and smiled painfully. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Xander said.

“He passed out,” Buffy said.

“What happened?” Willow asked, concerned, as Giles returned to the room and handed Xander an ice pack.

“I don’t know,” Xander said, nodding his thanks to the older man. “One minute, I’m shelving books, the next thing I know, Giles and Buffy are kneeling over me, waking me up.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you went home for the day,” Giles suggested. “You needn’t stay here if you’re not feeling well.”

“Yeah,” Xander said, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess that’s probably a good idea.”

“Come on,” Buffy said, helping Xander to his feet, and throwing his arm over her shoulder. “I’ll walk you. Giles, I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Of course,” Giles said.

“Feel better,” Oz said, his arm firmly around Willow’s waist.

“And get lots of rest!” Willow called, worry evident in her voice.

Xander waved behind him as he and Buffy walked out of the library.

After Buffy dropped him off at home and he got in a yelling match with his father over God knows what, Xander grabbed a cold soda from the fridge and set off to find Faith. He checked the Bronze and Willy’s bar, and finally made his way over to her hotel room. He stopped outside her room and listened. Hearing the television on, he decided she was, in fact, there.

Xander paused. What the hell was he going to say, anyway? ‘Hi, you’re possibly pregnant with my child, neither of us has jobs, and we’re both probably going to die young. Fun, huh?’ That wouldn’t work. He was completely at a loss about what to do, and was about to give up and leave when the door opened in front of him.

“You just gonna stand there all day, or you coming in?” Faith asked. She was holding a white tank top that she was obviously in the middle of washing. Xander nodded and stepped into the room.

“So?” she asked, retreating back to the bathroom to scrub her shirt some more.

“So, uh… thanks for, you know… leaving, earlier.”

“Checked you weren’t dead and split,” Faith said. “Figured there’d be too many questions if I stuck around.”

“Yeah, good thinking,” Xander said. “Because the last thing you want to do if you’re pregnant would be tell people who might be able to, I don’t know, help you.”

“I’m not,” she said.

“Not… what?”

“You know. Havin’ a kid.”

“But you said…”

“I’m late a lot,” she said, shrugging. “Happens. Slayer thing, I guess.”

“Then why did you look so worried? Why did you tell me?”

“Momentary insanity.”

“I don’t buy it,” Xander said.

“Yeah, well, I don’t care. It’s the truth.”

Xander watched her for a moment, bathed in the dim light of the bathroom lamp, washing her clothes, and decided not to pursue the subject for the moment.

“What are you watching?”

“One of those crappy Wopner rip-offs,” she replied. “You can change it if you want.”

“Do you like it here?” Xander asked.

“I guess,” she said. “SunnyD ain’t that bad. Always action somewhere, and your winters ain’t nothin’ like Boston. Though that snow thing was kinda weird.”

“Yeah,” said Xander. “I actually meant in the hotel.”

“Oh,” she said, pausing. With a shrug, she continued. “It’s a roof.”

“That’s not much.”

“It’s enough. Why, offering me a place to sleep and a warm body to sleep next to? Lookin’ for another roll, is that it?”

“What?”

“I get it,” she said, dropping the shirt into the sink. “B’s knight in shining armor coming to the rescue of some helpless dame. Well I ain’t helpless. I don’t need your charity, and your body ain’t that warm that I’m lookin’ to go for it again. Sorry, boytoy, you’re all outta luck this time.”

Xander walked closer to the bathroom. “Well, I actually wasn’t going to ask you to come stay with me,” he said.

“That right?” she asked, skepticism dripping from her voice.

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t exactly want my dad dead.”

“Why would –”

“Because I doubt you take being called a whore particularly well.”

Faith’s glare froze him in his spot. “You might wanna watch what you say, if you don’t want to end up broken, you get me?”

“It’s just, if you were at my house, my dad would call you a whore,” Xander said, not backing down. “It’s just one of those things he does.”

She continued glaring for a moment, before returning to her shirt.

Xander walked up to her and took her hands in his, stopping her scrubbing. “It’s ruined, Faith,” he said. “The blood’s not coming out.”

Faith looked at their hands for the moment, then up in to his eyes. Her own flared with defiance. “What the hell do you know?” she asked, starting her scrubbing again. Xander backed away.

“I’ve been washing blood out of shirts for a while now. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. How late are you?”

Faith stopped scrubbing and looked up at him. “Screw you. Like you could handle it even if I was. You passed out after thinking about it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a screw-up. But I take care of people. Sometimes it seems like the only thing I *can* do.”

“Look, just get out of here,” she said. “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself. Been doin’ it for years.”

“I’m not moving until you tell me how late you are,” Xander said, his voice like steel.

Faith looked up into his eyes, and saw only determination looking back at her.

“Eighteen days,” she said. “Now get the hell out.”

Xander nodded, turned around and left the room. He reached the parking lot and sat heavily down on the curb.

“Jesus,” he muttered to himself with a shudder. “That girl is scary.” Another quick shudder and Xander was heading back home.

Two

“Alex!” Tony Harris yelled up to his son. “It’s one of those sluts you hang around with!”

Buffy stood quietly outside Xander’s house, waiting for her friend to arrive at the door and counting to ten in her head in order to cool down. Xander bounded down the stairs and out the door, shutting in behind him quickly.

“Sorry about that,” he said, as the two of them started to walk around the block. “Dad gets a little obnoxious when he’s… awake…. What’s up? Bad things going down? Demonage? Maybe a little apocalypse?”

“Just wanted to see how you are, actually,” Buffy said, smiling at him. “We got worried about you today.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s up,” Xander said. “It’s really weird, but I feel fine now, excepting the residual pain from apparently smacking my head into the library floor.”

“Good,” Buffy said. “So, here’s an interesting item in the news. You’re worried about Faith.”

Xander chuckled. “Subtle.”

“I’m sneaky,” she said. “So what’s up with that?”

Xander shrugged. “Like I said, I saw the crap she’s living in. What do you want, Buff? She’s a Slayer, like you.”

“*Not* like me.”

“Okay, fine, but the point is she’s a Slayer. Fighting evil, doing the good, all that. She shouldn’t have to live in a rat hole.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “I’ve seen it.”

Xander looked at her. “How come you didn’t say anything?”

Buffy shrugged. “Cuz the last time I saw it, I was mad at her for trying to steal all my friends, and then, you know, Angel was back and…”

“Slipped your mind?”

Buffy glanced at the ground, ashamed. “Yeah.”

“Bad things happen to the best of us, Buffy,” he said. “And hey, they happen to me, too.” Buffy rolled her eyes and waited for Xander to continue. He didn’t.

“That’s it?” she asked. “Bad things happen?”

“Yeah, well, my mind’s all over the place tonight. It’s the best I can do on short notice.”

Buffy smiled up at him as they got back to his house. “Okay,” she said. “Well, get rest, or else Willow will beat you senseless.”

“You sure there’s no apocalypse?” he asked, a little too hopefully for Buffy’s comfort, but she set it aside for the moment and smiled.

“Sorry,” she said. “Nothing big nor bad tonight.”

“Ah well,” he said. “Thanks for coming to check on me.”

“Glad you’re feeling better,” she said. “Night, Xander.”

“Night, Buffy,” he said.

Buffy watched Xander walk back into his house, and shook her head. “Someday,” she said to herself, “I’m gonna ask him about what goes on in there.”

Buffy walked away intent on finishing her patrol and getting home before 1 am. After all, she still had homework to do.

***

Surprise registered momentarily across Faith’s face, before she recovered and returned to her uncaring façade.

“What’s up, Geeves? What are you doing on this side of the tracks? And at lunchtime?”

“Coming to see you, as a matter of fact,” Giles said. He pointed inside. “May I?”

Faith shrugged and stepped back from the door.

“Interesting accommodations,” Giles said. “Quite um… Spartan.”

“What can I say?” Faith said. “Warrior doesn’t need much.”

“No, I suppose not,” Giles said. “However, a young woman such as yourself often does. I imagine if Buffy were forced to live in quarters such as this, she would… spaz out, as I believe she might say.”

“Yeah, well, I ain’t her.”

“No, you’re not, are you?” he said, with a note of surprise in his voice. He hadn’t considered before, but Faith and Buffy were very likely as different as were Buffy and Kendra. “It is a testament to your character that you have not complained. Most girls your age would scoff at such a… lackluster dwelling.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, Faith, that you’re doing very well here. I am… proud of what you’ve accomplished, and though I am no longer technically your Watcher, I do still feel responsible for your well being. I can see that you are doing well here, and I respect that, however… should you care for more habitable accommodations, it can be seen to.”

“You offerin’ to let me stay at your place?”

“No,” Giles said. “As much as that would benefit both you and I financially, it would be unseemly for a man in my position to be domiciled with a young woman in yours. I simply offer that we find you a more acceptable place to live. Perhaps an apartment of some sort. This place, I’m sure, has been host to any number of… immoral liaisons.”

“Yeah, plus all the screwing,” Faith said. “Anyway, it’s a nice thought, but I can’t exactly afford that.”

“No, I expect not,” Giles said. “Which is why I will pay for it.”

“What?”

“As well as reimbursing you for any money you have spent on this hotel.”

“You can’t be serious,” she said.

“Don’t I look serious?”

“Xander put you up to this, didn’t he?”

Giles was a little surprised. “I wouldn’t say he put me up to it, but he did bring it to my attention. And I apologize for not looking into it sooner. Why did you assume it was Xander? According to him, he was only here for a very short time.”

“He actually talked about that?” Faith asked. “To you?”

Giles was again surprised. She was certainly getting worked up about a little bathroom talk. “Certainly,” Giles said. “It may not be a common topic of conversation, but it comes up now and again. Especially with Xander around.”

“Really.”

“It’s only to be expected, I suppose,” Giles said. “Teenage boys, and all that. Anyhow, I have a faculty meeting I’m supposed to be attending. If you’re free, perhaps you might like to go apartment hunting this afternoon. Say, three o’clock?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks,” Faith said, surprised by the man’s generosity and pissed as hell at Xander.

“Until later, then,” Giles said. He let himself out of the room, and shook his head. It really was a travesty, he thought, that a Slayer under his care should be living in such poor housing. He would have to remember to thank Xander for bringing it to his attention. Giles checked his watch and made for his car. Lunch was almost over, and he did have appearances to keep up. After all, librarian was now his only job, and it behooved him to keep it.

***

“So, you think there’s something fishy going on?” Buffy asked. She and Willow were in the library, talking and waiting for Giles to tell them to do something.

“I don’t know,” Willow said. “It’s just, it’s weird, don’t you think?”

“I do think,” Buffy said. “But I don’t know that it’s fishy.”

“I don’t know that it’s fishy either. But, I think it might be. And I know I don’t want him to get hurt or anything.”

“Me either,” Buffy said. “But don’t you think… I mean, he’s eighteen. And he knows how to make decisions, and he knows he can talk to us. You especially.”

“Me not especially,” Willow said. “Ever since we, you know… well, I don’t think I’ve been a very good friend. I mean, I didn’t know he was spending more time with Faith. Did you?”

“But was he?” Buffy asked. “He said he gave her a ride back there and used the bathroom. That doesn’t sound exactly dangerous, or long-timey.”

“I know,” Willow said. “I’m probably just being paranoid. But, I can’t get over the feeling there’s something he’s not telling us.”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said. “But, we have to trust him.”

Willow nodded as Buffy looked at her watch.

“Where’s Giles?” Buffy asked. “He was supposed to meet us here like a half hour ago.”

“I don’t know,” Willow said. “Maybe… there’s a teacher’s meeting he forgot about.”

“Giles? Forget? Not possible.”

“I guess,” Willow said. “I wonder what’s really going on.”

“Going on with what?” Xander asked as he swaggered into the library, munching on an apple.

“Uh, Giles,” Buffy said, thinking as quickly as she could. “He’s all not here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Xander said. “I dropped by earlier, he said he was taking Faith apartment hunting. You know, so she doesn’t live in such… uh…”

“Squalor?” Buffy supplied.

Xander tapped his nose with one hand, and pointed at Buffy with the other.

“So where have you been the past half hour?” Willow asked as Xander sat down next to her.

“Detention,” he said. “But Mrs. Robinson fell asleep, so I left.”

“What were you in detention for?” Buffy asked.

Xander shrugged. “Skipping class yesterday so I could fall unconscious.”

“How’s your head?” Willow asked.

“Not so throbby.”

The three friends sat there in a comfortable silence, as Xander ate his apple.

“So, Bronze tonight?” Buffy asked after a minute.

Xander and Willow both nodded. They continued to sit. Buffy checked her watch after another minute.

“How long does it take to find an apartment, anyway?” she asked.

Three

“This is a nice little place we have,” the real estate agent said. He was a seedy looking character. He reminded Faith of Willy, except he wasn’t quite as greasy. Or as short. And he didn’t reek of alcohol. And as far as she could tell, he didn’t know demons, but in this town, that was never a safe assumption.

“This place is, I guess, what, 600 square feet. Only one death on this property. Fully furnished, like you see. Air conditioning, cable, gas heat. Electric stove, an oven, full bath. You pay cable and phone, everything else is included.”

“Good natural light,” Giles said. “It’s a little cramped, though.”

“Yeah, but in your price range, it’s probably the best you’re gonna do. It’s a nice area,” the man said. “Well, not too bad.”

Giles turned to Faith. “What do you think?”

Faith looked around at the apartment. “It’s tight,” she said.

Giles glanced at her. “I should take that to mean you like it?”

“Yeah,” Faith said. In fact, it was the nicest place she could have imagined herself living since Linda had… since she had left Boston. “You sure you can afford it, though?”

Giles smiled at her. “The council has yet to stop paying for my flat,” he said.

“Yeah,” the skeezy looking guy said. “This is a pretty nice place to stash a little slice on the – urk!”

Faith slammed the man against the wall, her arm to his throat.

“I don’t know what you think is goin’ on here,” she said, her voice low and dangerous, “but I wouldn’t make any assumptions if I was you. It ain’t how you think.”

Giles cleared his throat, and Faith turned to see the former watcher peering over his glasses at her. Faith released the man and stepped back, still giving him a death glare.

“Right,” the man said, rubbing his throat. “Not what I think.”

“What is the deposit?” Giles asked.

“Uhh… first, last and one month security.”

“And your fee?”

The guy rubbed his throat a little more. “Half one month’s rent.”

“Bringing the total due at signing to…”

“Fifteen seventy-five,” the little man said.

Giles turned to Faith. “You’re sure this is adequate?” he asked.

“More than,” Faith said.

Giles nodded and started writing a check. “I can come by tomorrow and sign the papers?” he asked.

“Sure, sure,” the guy said.

“And she can stay here tonight, sans a signed lease?”

“I don’t see any problem with that,” the man said, glancing warily at Faith. He edged away a step. “In fact, why don’t you two stay here, I’ll run back to the office and get the keys. Take ten minutes.”

Giles nodded as the man left, and Faith looked around closer at the furnishings in the apartment.

“This place is wicked nice,” Faith said. She looked up at Giles. “You’re all right.”

Giles smiled, removed his glasses and began cleaning them. “Well, it’s closer to the school. Very near Xander’s house, if I’m not mistaken.”

Faith looked up sharply. “The hell does that matter?” she asked.

Giles was taken aback at her tone. “I just thought… if you wished to see a friendly face, you needn’t go far, is all.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice softening. “Yeah.”

“It’s close to… to the um, Bronze, too,” Giles said, poking through the cabinets. “Well, closer than the hotel, anyway.”

“Listen, G, I’m not… well… look, nobody ever did nothin’ like this for me before, you know? It’s… I mean, what I’m trying to say is…”

“You’re welcome, Faith,” Giles said. “In fact, I should have done something about this long ago. We have Xander to thank that it now came to my attention.”

Faith frowned. “What’s he like?”

“Xander? Giles asked, turning to his charge. Faith nodded. “Immature. Juvenile. More than a little selfish at times. Often irresponsible. He frequently drives me mad.”

Faith nodded. That was about what she expected.

“To be fair though, he also has one of the best hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. He’s loyal to the point of ignoring his own well being for those he loves. I believe that one day, he’ll grow up to be a fine man. Assuming any of us survive that long.”

“He ignores his own health, but he’s selfish?”

Giles smiled. “Selfish in everyday life, as, you’ll find, are all eighteen-year-old boys. But nothing short of an act of God will stop him from protecting those he loves, and even that might not be enough. I recall… early last school year, just after Buffy had returned from visiting her father for the summer. Buffy had… shall we say, issues, stemming from the fact that she had died the previous spring.

“She made some bad decisions, and it ended up with Willow, Cordelia, Ms. Calendar – whom you never met – and myself getting abducted by some vampires.”

“Okay,” Faith said.

“Well, when Buffy found Xander at the library, he told her that if Willow was hurt, he would kill her. I believe he meant it, too.”

“Damn,” said Faith. Xander threatening Buffy? She could hardly wrap her mind around that. He seemed like such a lap dog sometimes.

“Why the interest?” Giles asked.

“No, I just –”

“Here we go,” the real estate agent said, re-entering the apartment. He handed Faith a couple of keys. “First one’s the main lock, second is the deadbolt, third gets you in the building. That one also works for the laundry room. Only tenants are allowed, or have keys, so it’s pretty safe. Don’t think you have to worry about that, though.”

Faith nodded, and the three of them just stood there.

“I think that’s about it,” the agent said. “Mr. Giles, I’ll see you in my office tomorrow, to sign that paperwork?”

Giles nodded and the man left.

“Yes, well,” Giles said. “We should let you get settled. Do you need a ride back to the motel to get your things?”

Faith shook her head. “I’ll grab that stuff later.”

Giles nodded, and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small roll of twenties and handed it to her.

“What –”

“As I said, I would be reimbursing you for your expenses staying at the motel,” he said.

“G, I can’t –”

“Of course you can,” Giles said. “I insist. Besides, I’ll just have the new watcher reimburse me, whoever he is. And I’ll have him take over the payments here, too. Seems only fair. They should be paying for it anyway. Should have all along, though it’s my fault they weren’t.”

“I see,” Faith said, softly, with what sounded like disappointment.

Giles looked at the girl, and took a guess at the meaning of her tone.

“Of course, I can keep the payments, if you’d prefer not to be beholden to them,” he said. “I’ve the money for it. I just rather felt like giving a little grief to the council, now that I am no longer in their employ.”

“It’s cool,” she assured him. “If you don’t wanna –”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he interrupted. “I would be happy to keep the payments. I only thought, as the Slayer, you might want to keep closer ties to the Council.”

“Nah, screw ‘em,” Faith said.

“Very well,” Giles said. “Whenever my replacement arrives, I’ll not mention –”

“No,” Faith said. “I meant… screw ‘em. Send ‘em the bill. I’ll still do what I want.”

Giles smiled. “Of course. I shall be happy to.”

Faith nodded. She thanked Giles for everything again – a somewhat awkward exercise for both of them – then accompanied him to the library.

***

The whole gang was researching anything they could about the Mayor, even, Willow was surprised to find, Faith. Although, really, Xander wasn’t researching the mayor, so much as trying to work on his history paper so he wouldn’t fail the course, and would be allowed to graduate in a few months time.

“Willow,” he said, making notes in his book.

“Yuh huh?” she asked, still immersed in hers.

“Roosevelt put in the New Deal, right?”

“Yup.”

“So how come it didn’t happen during his administration?”

Willow looked up, confused. “What?”

“The New Deal,” Xander said, pointing to his book. “It was, like, thirty years later.”

“Franklin Roosevelt,” Willow said. “Franklin Roosevelt instituted the New Deal. Teddy Roosevelt was the big stick guy.”

“Oh, him,” Xander said. He closed the book and looked at the title. “I think I got the wrong book. Maybe I have something in my locker. I’ll be back.”

Willow shrugged and went back to her book as Xander left the library.

“Bathroom break,” Faith called a moment later, tossing her large, dusty tome down. “Back in a few.”

Willow looked up as the dark slayer passed through the swinging doors. Xander’s words registered with her at that moment.

“Poop,” she said, sighing. “I forgot, Xander has one of my books in his locker.”

“Man, everybody’s leaving,” Buffy said. “It’s as if we didn’t want to be here or something.”

Willow smiled, set her book down and walked out of the library and towards Xander’s locker. She was about to round the corner when a loud slamming noise and a voice brought her up short.

“The hell is wrong with you?!” asked a voice that Willow quickly identified as Faith. She stayed out of sight. “You go tellin’ Geeves that shit? You’re just bragging to anyone who’ll listen, ain’t ya?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Xander’s strained voice said.

“Oh, come on,” said Faith. “G knew about what happened between you and me. Said you talk about that shit all the time.”

“I don’t know what he told you,” Xander said, “but all I told anybody was that I used your bathroom after driving you home.”

Willow frowned, unhappy that Xander had apparently lied to them.

“What?”

“I didn’t tell anybody anything, Faith,” Xander said. “Not about our little tryst, and not about any bun that may or may not be in your oven.”

Willow stifled a gasp, and stumbled backwards a couple of steps.

“You swear on… on… what, on Willow’s life?” Faith challenged.

Willow could almost hear Xander straighten up.

“I would never swear anything on any of my friends’ lives, especially hers. No matter how truthful I was being,” Xander said.

Willow smiled for a moment, but quickly remembered the ‘tryst’ and her frown returned.

“Fine,” Faith said. “Swear on yours.”

“I swear on my life,” Xander said, almost immediately, “I didn’t tell anybody. Are we done now?”

“No,” Faith said.

Willow heard another slam of a body on a locker, and a grunt of surprise, followed quickly by what sounded like a moan. She was pretty sure she knew what they were doing. Willow heard the lockers readjust as the bodies stopped putting pressure on them, followed by Xander panting.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For gettin’ me my new digs,” Faith said.

Willow decided she’d had enough voyeurism for the day, and scurried back to the library.

“Where’s your book?” Buffy asked. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine,” Willow lied. “And Xander must have gone to the bathroom or something, he wasn’t at his locker. I didn’t feel like waiting.”

“Don’t you have his combination?” Buffy asked.

Willow sat down hard on the chair. “Oh yeah,” she said. “I must just be tired.”

Buffy shook her head and stuck her nose back in the book. Willow did the same, and tried her best to suppress everything she had just heard. At least until later, when she could go home and have a good cry.

Four

Xander lay on his bed, wondering what the hell he should do. He felt like pacing around his room, but his dad had yelled at him for making ‘too much damn noise’ the last time he had been pacing. He figured it wasn’t worth the hassle.

Xander needed help. He knew that. He wasn’t going to be able to convince Faith to go get checked out, or even take one of those home pregnancy tests, not on his own. But who could he go to?

Giles was completely out of the question. Xander knew that going to Giles was quite possibly the most responsible thing he could do, but there was no way in Hell he was going to talk about sex with the man. Even in passing. Not since the love spell. Hell, not since *ever.*

The next person he thought of was Buffy’s mom. But even though she had been very kind to Xander, something he appreciated greatly, they hadn’t ever had that kind of relationship. ‘That kind’ being the kind where he talked to her at all outside of Buffy’s presence, unless it was asking for chips or soda.

Next on the list was Willow, as the smartest person he knew, most logical, possibly the most persuasive with arguments. Xander thought back to earlier that year, and the illicit smoochies.

Scratch Willow off the list.

Buffy, he knew, would be no help at all, Cordelia was pretty much still not talking to him, he’d be damned if he would ask Angel for help, and asking Oz would just be damn awkward, and, Xander thought, the guy was pretty likely to just shrug and say something like, “Do what you can,” and then shut up.

So that pretty much left him optionless. He felt he was living up to the tag of ‘worthless’ his dad had laid on him, and living up to it well.

Xander sat up in his bed. He was determined not to turn out like his father thought, so he decided to bite the bullet. He grabbed a jacket and ran downstairs and out into the night.

***

She looked up, rubbed her eyes, and walked over to where Xander stood, and let him inside.

“Hey,” she said. “Why are you here?”

Xander looked down at her, worried. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said. “Why are you here?”

“I need to talk to you,” Xander said.

“So, talk,” she said.

Xander frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “I mean, I know things have been weird, but you can still talk to me. You know that, right?”

Willow looked up at him and shook her head. “Sure,” she said.

“I mean, it’s just, you look like you’ve been crying,” he said.

Willow frowned.

“Not that you look bad!” he said, mentally backpedaling. “It’s just…”

“I know what you mean,” she said. She was angry at him, and hurt. But he was still Xander, and what he had said earlier, about not swearing on her life, had been so sweet. She wanted to give him any benefit of the doubt she could. “Just… maybe in a little. You still haven’t said the… why you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. He began pacing back and forth in her room. She followed him like he was a tennis ball, watched him wringing his wrists like he always did when he was really worried about something. After a few minutes, Willow couldn’t take it anymore.

“Xander,” she said, standing in front of him and taking his hands in hers. “Just tell me.”

Xander looked down at her small hands attempting to wrap around his, then back up into her eyes.

“I had sex with Faith,” he said, softly. “And she might be pregnant.”

Xander fell down on her bed and closed his eyes, seemingly waiting for the inevitable tongue lashing that Willow was certain he felt he deserved. When it didn’t come, he looked up. Willow was certain she looked as shocked as she had been earlier in the day.

“Will?” he said.

“When?” she asked.

“A few weeks ago,” he said. Willow saw he had his ‘spill the beans’ face on, and knew he’d pretty much answer anything she asked.

“And how come you think she… you know…”

“She’s late,” he said.

“You’ve been spending that much time together that you know –”

“No,” he interrupted. “She told me. That’s why I passed out the other day in the library.”

Willow frowned. “She hasn’t taken a test or anything?”

Xander shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he said. “When I went to talk to her later that day, she was in full-on denial mode.”

Willow looked up at him, and set her face in as hard an expression as she could muster.

“How come you’re telling me all this?” she asked.

“Because if she is pregnant, we need to know, and I don’t think I can get through to her, and I need help.” He shrugged. “Nobody I trust to help more than you.”

“Even since…”

“Even since.”

“Since we’re being all truthful,” she said, “I knew already.”

“You what?”

“I heard you two talking in the hall today,” Willow said. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it, and…”

“It’s okay,” Xander said.

“How come you didn’t tell me until now?” she asked.

“Well, it really wasn’t anybody else’s business,” he said.

“Oh,” Willow said, sadly. “Yeah, I guess.”

Xander’s gaze turned to the floor. “But the truth is… I didn’t want you to think I was the kind of guy who’d do something like that. Like a one-night stand kind of guy.”

“It was sweet,” Willow said, hesitantly. “What you said. Not the one-night stand thing. The not swearing on my life one.”

“Well, I meant it,” Xander said. “I couldn’t do… things… without you. You may be ashamed to be seen with me now, or whatever, but you’re still my Willow.” He sighed. “Or at least, I hope you are.”

“Xander, I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. I never have been. I just…”

“Needed to work things out with Oz, I know,” Xander said. “But I missed you, and I’m selfish.”

Willow smiled inwardly. Even though she had Oz, and loved Oz… it was still nice to be missed. She sighed.

“So what are we going to do about this?”

“I don’t know,” Xander said. “But you’re the only one I could come to.”

Willow’s heart warmed at his declaration. A very cynical part of her told her that he might be just saying these things to get her help, but that voice was quickly silenced and squashed when Willow looked into his eyes and saw the obvious worry there.

“Okay,” Willow said. “Go home, give me a little time to think about this. I’ll try to come up with something.”

“You’re the best,” Xander said, wrapping his best friend in a hug.

Willow sighed, as she returned his embrace. “I know,” she said, smiling as she shoved him back out onto the balcony. “Now go.”

Xander smiled, and with a wave, he was gone.

Willow kept her smile in place, but her eyes began to tear up. Things, she knew, would never be the same, ever again.

***

“Here’s what I’ve come up with,” Willow said the next morning. She was wearing a happy face, despite her actual mood.

“Hmm,” Giles said, looking over her work. “Yes, this all looks quite good. Except for this bit here.” He pointed to a section. “You’ve got these two dates reversed.”

“Oh,” Willow said, accepting the paper back. She looked to the section he had pointed out. “Oh, yeah, I guess I did. Thanks.”

Giles nodded as he sipped his tea. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Willow frowned. “Why? Do I not look okay?”

Giles smiled softly. “You look fine, Willow. You just seem a little… melancholy, is all. Are things going well?”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “Or, well, no, not really. But they’ll be okay.”

Giles nodded. “Well, should you need help or… well, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Giles,” Willow said sincerely. “But, it’s one of those things I have to do on my own, I think.”

Giles nodded. “Of course. You’ll be by later, then?”

Willow sighed as she collected her materials. “Well, later, I might be needing to deal with things. But, if I can, yeah.”

“Good,” Giles said. “Well, good luck, or whatever the appropriate phrase is.”

“Thanks,” Willow said. She waved to Giles and left the library. She stepped out into the traffic of the hallway, hoping to be able to avoid Xander at least until the period began. They had class together, but Buffy was also in the class, and they couldn’t very well discuss how to get Faith to take a pregnancy test when Buffy was around.

Willow stopped dead in her tracks, causing some freshman to run into her. He dropped his books, but she didn’t care. She was going to help Xander find out if Faith was pregnant. She hadn’t considered that yet, not really. They had slept together, that was what got her yesterday.

What if Faith was pregnant? Would they date? Or get married? Oh, God, what if Xander got married before high school was over? What if Xander had a child? What would she do? What would *he* do?

That thought stunned her. There she was, thinking how she would feel about all of this, when the truth was that it affected her less than just about every other person in the group, except for Oz. If Faith was pregnant, she couldn’t very well slay for much longer. And if Faith wasn’t slaying, that left it up to Buffy again. And also, Giles would probably feel obligated somehow, and would almost certainly scold them both for being stupid, but at the same time take them under his wing.

And also, Xander would *never* go to college, he’d have to get a job to pay for things, because there was no way in hell his parents would help out. It would change his life. He wouldn’t be able to do his road trip that he’d been talking about for years. He wouldn’t get to do so many things.

And how would Cordelia feel? Her ex-boyfriend had gone and gotten a skank pregnant!

No, Willow thought. She couldn’t think about Faith like that. If the girl was going to be the mother of Xander’s child, Willow couldn’t think of her as a skank. She was carrying Xander’s child.

Willow would love that child, she knew. Even if it wasn’t hers. She couldn’t think of anything that would make her not love Xander’s child.

And that was when it happened. Willow decided once and for all that doing the right thing meant truly and finally getting over Xander Harris. And she was ready. For the sake of his child, and the mother of his child, she would. She had to. It wasn’t fair, otherwise. To anybody. She turned her resolve face on herself. It was time.

***

“What do you mean you can’t go?” Buffy asked. “How is that even possible?”

“Buff, I just can’t,” Xander said. He looked up and saw Willow enter the room, determination on her face. He was curious about that. “I have things to do.”

“Oh come on, what could possibly be more important than going to the Bronze?”

“Homework?” Xander suggested. By Buffy’s glare, he guessed she wasn’t buying it.

“Willow, tell Xander not to be such a poopy-head.”

“Don’t be such a poopy-head, Xander,” Willow said as she sat next to him. Xander rolled his eyes. “What are we talking about?”

“The Bronze,” Buffy said. “Xander’s claiming he has something else to do.”

“That’s because I do,” Xander insisted.

“And he won’t tell me what it is,” Buffy pouted.

“It’s private,” he said. Then he grimaced. He absolutely knew that was the wrong thing to say. Buffy would only be more interested now.

“Oooh,” she said, “is it some juicy secret? Some vile, sinister deed that nobody can know of until you eventually unveil your plans to conquer the world? Cuz if it is, I’ll have to stop you.”

“It’s not,” Xander said. “Buff, just… drop it, okay? I mean it.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Fine. You’ll just miss a dancing good time with me and Will and Oz and Angel.”

“Wow, yeah, that sounds just like my favoritest day ever,” Xander said, grumpily. “Nothing says fun like some fifth wheel action.”

Buffy’s face softened visibly. “Don’t be like that,” she said. “I just want you to have fun, is all.”

“I know,” he said. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure I can’t convince you?”

“I’m sure,” he said. He turned to Willow. “Where’ve you been?”

“Library,” she said. “Giles was looking over a paper for me.”

“You okay?” Buffy asked.

Willow seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. “Yes,” she said. “I am.”

Xander thought he heard determination in her voice, but didn’t pursue it. Class was just about to start.

FIVE

“Have you got anything yet?” Xander asked after class. Buffy had gone off to the library, either to ask Giles about something slaying related, or else to skip her next class. Xander was grateful for the chance to talk to Willow alone.

“Not yet,” Willow said. “I mean, it’s kind of a lot to drop on a girl.”

“I know, Will,” Xander said. “But it’s really important –”

“I know,” she said. “I do. But you’re going to have to give me a little time, Xander. It wasn’t so long ago that I was still harboring thoughts that I would be your first, and that it might be me in this position, so this isn’t something I can just *do* without any feeling, okay?”

Xander was stunned by her openness. He hadn’t expected her to say that. Hell, he hadn’t expected her have thought about that. Even after making out with her, he hadn’t expected her to think about… sex. He had, of course, but Willow? She was… she was above all that, right?

“Yeah,” he said, quietly, trying not to show the kind of turmoil she had just thrown him into. “Yeah, of course. I’m sorry. I should have thought –”

“Yes,” she said. “You should have. But that’s okay. I’m gonna be here for you, Xander, through this whole thing. Anything you need, or even anything Faith needs. And if it happens that that’s the case, anything the baby needs, too, okay? I’m going to be here if you need me. It’s just right now? I need a little time.”

“Okay,” Xander said, nodding. “Of course.”

“You’d better go,” Willow said. She pointed at the clock on the wall. “You’re going to be late.”

“Willow, I –”

“Xander?” she said. “I’m fine. Just go.”

Xander nodded, smiled at her, and started to walk off. After a thought, he walked back, gave Willow a heartfelt hug, and a kiss on the forehead, then smiled at her one more time before leaving.

He walked down the hall, and saw Oz leaning against a locker, obviously waiting for him. Xander followed Oz’s line of vision, and looked at the exact place he had just hugged Willow.

“Oz,” he said, shaking his head, “it wasn’t –”

“It’s okay,” Oz said, with a quick shake of his head. “I trust her.”

But not him, Xander thought. It was only fair, really.

“Good,” Xander said. “It’s just that I’m having –”

“Don’t,” Oz said. “It’s private. I trust her.”

Xander opened his mouth to say something else, then thought the better of it, nodded and walked off to his class.

***

Faith opened her door.

“You gotta be kidding me.” She couldn’t believe he was there.

“Nice place,” Xander said. He stood outside her door, hands behind his back.

“Yeah, it is,” Faith said. She walked back into her apartment, but left the door open, in what she felt was enough of an invitation. He apparently took it that way, too, since he walked in and shut the door behind him. “What do you want?”

“Uh,” he said, nervously swaying back and forth on his heels. “I got you this.” He held out what was obviously a present.

“The hell is that?” she asked anyway.

“It’s a housewarming gift,” he said. “Or an apartment warming gift, or whatever.”

“What is it?” Faith asked, eyeing the package cautiously.

“You’re supposed to open it, Faith,” he said. “It’s not a bomb, or leprosy or anything.”

“Leprosy in a box?” she asked, accepting the package. Xander shrugged as Faith pulled the ribbon off the box, dropped it on her table – she had a table, that was new – and opened the box.

“Holy shit.”

“Really?” Xander asked. “I didn’t know a coffee machine was that big a deal.”

Faith was still looking at the box. “Why’d you give me this?”

“Um. You just moved into your new apartment. Common etiquette among… I thought you might like it.”

Faith looked up and scowled. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

Xander looked hurt, and for a split second, Faith allowed herself to feel bad about that. She squelched that feeling out as quickly as she could, though, because it led had always led to bad places.

“Faith, I’m not… you know what? Whatever. I’m gonna go spend some time with people who don’t assume I’m a villainous bastard because I have the unmitigated gall to be nice to them.”

Faith opened her mouth to interrupt with something, she was surprised to find, that was remarkably close to an apology, when Xander continued. He was glaring at her, his voice louder than ever.

“I mean, Christ! Did it ever occur to you that somebody might want to be nice to you, to give you something without wanting anything from you in return? Did it ever occur to you that not every single guy who does something for you wants to get in your pants?”

For a moment, the barest hint of a second, Faith shied away from him. And that, she knew, was enough to tip him off. He was pretty damn perceptive at times.

“Oh my God,” he said softly, horror in his voice. His face lost any last inkling of anger. “It hasn’t. It’s honestly never occurred to you that some guys might have good intentions.”

“It’s nothing,” Faith said. She went and set the coffee machine on the counter. “Thanks for the thing.”

“Faith,” he said, moving over to her.

“I gotta get ready for patrol,” she said, heading for her bedroom.

“Faith,” he called again, but she shut her door in his face. She heard him press a single hand against the door, and then rest his head against it. “Who hurt you?” he asked quietly.

A couple of minutes later, she heard his footsteps. Then the outer door to her apartment opened and closed. Faith sighed, disappointed in herself. Now she was never going to get rid of him.

And a deeply hidden part of her, a part she had ignored for years now, wondered why she wanted to.

But Faith wasn’t ready to listen to that part.

***

Xander was making her dizzy. It was almost hypnotic, him walking back and forth. He was genuinely worried, Willow could tell that much immediately. He was genuinely concerned for Faith, and her mental well being. He was asking questions, which Willow was sure were rhetorical, about what could have happened to her, what was her past like, how could anybody be like that at this age, things like that.

At least, she hoped they were rhetorical, because she certainly didn’t have any answers. But she found, in the past, that it was beneficial to both of them not to interrupt until he was done pacing. That would happen pretty soon, she guessed. Willow looked at her watch, and counted down. Five, four, three, two –

“I don’t know, what do you think?” Xander said, coming to a halt in front of her. She was off by a whole second.

“I don’t know, Xander,” she said. “I mean… if what you’re saying is true –”

“It is,” he insisted. “Jesus. What if she *is* pregnant? How can anybody who thinks like that possibly raise a child? Oh God, my kid’s going to turn out worse than me.”

“Xander,” Willow said. She grabbed his hands and forced him to sit down. “First of all, we don’t know that she’s pregnant. We still have to work that out. And second, Xander, what on Earth makes you think you turned out poorly? I mean, you’ve made mistakes, sure, but we all have. But you’re my best friend, Xander, and I don’t make friends with bad people.”

She could see that Xander was thinking about protesting, and shut him up with a finger to his lips. “No,” she said. “You don’t get to argue this one. I’m right, and you’re wrong. Accept it.”

Xander nodded silently, then sighed as she removed her finger. “What am I gonna do, Will?”

“First thing, we need to get her to take a pregnancy test.”

“I don’t think she’ll be willing to go to a doctor,” he said.

“So we get her to take a home test. They’re not as accurate, but it’s a start.”

“And then?”

“And then, we see what the results are. There are lots of steps that can be taken. Do you know… I mean, would she keep it?”

Xander’s eyes expanded. “Oh my God. I hadn’t even considered that.”

“Well, what would your thoughts on that be?”

“I don’t know,” Xander said. He seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. “Jesus, I don’t know.”

“Okay, calm down,” Willow said. “We probably don’t need to think about this until we know, you know… whether or not she’s pregnant.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “Yeah, you’re right.” He took a deep breath. “How are you doing? I mean with the whole… thing?”

Willow smiled at him, happy he had remembered that this wasn’t exactly easy for her, either. Even though, she knew, it was, like *way* harder for him, it was still nice to be thought of. “I’m okay,” she said. “And I think I know what to do. About finding out, I mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You just need to put your foot down.”

“Put my foot down. With Faith.”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “See, just tell her. She obviously doesn’t want this getting out, so just tell her that either she takes the test, even a home pregnancy one, which aren’t as accurate as the ones they do at the hospital, or you tell her you’re going to tell Giles.”

“Will, I can’t –”

“Yes, you can, Xander. You can tell Giles if you have to. In fact you should probably have done it right off.”

Xander groaned. “I thought there was some thing where getting the deed done on your first time was really rare,” he said.

“That pretty much only works for girls,” said Willow. “And even then, not all the time.”

“Damn,” Xander said. “Life would be so much easier if I were a girl.”

“It really wouldn’t,” Willow said. “There all sorts of things to deal with, you know, girl things, that you don’t have to.”

“I just meant that if I were a girl, there’d be no chance of me getting anybody pregnant.”

“No,” Willow said. “That’s true. But you could get pregnant.”

Xander looked at her. “Good point. Okay, so now we just need to get one of those home pregnancy tests.”

“No,” Willow said. “Now *you* need to get one of those home pregnancy tests.”

“But you said you were going to help!” Xander protested.

“Yes,” she said. “And I will. But I’m not doing everything, Xander. I’ll help you convince Faith, if she doesn’t go for it, a-and I’ll support you no matter what, but you need to take some of this on yourself, if only to realize how big a deal it is.”

Xander was silent for a minute. “Okay. I’ll do it tomorrow, right after school.”

“Good,” Willow said.

“I guess I should go,” Xander said, standing up and walking to her balcony door.

“Yeah,” Willow said. She steeled her nerve, and stood up. “Just one last thing.”

“Yeah?” Xander asked, turning around. As soon as he turned, Willow attached herself to his lips in a smoldering kiss that lasted a good minute, until Willow broke it off.

“Wha—” Xander said, panting. “What… I… ”

“That was the last,” Willow said, wrapping her arms around her best friend, her eyes moistening. She could feel confusion radiating off of Xander, but he wrapped his arms around her anyway.

“Willow?” he asked, quietly.

A few moments later, Willow released him, and backed up a step. She wiped tears from her eyes and sniffled. “It’s over,” she said.

“Will, what?”

“This,” she said, shaking her head. “Us. It’s over now. For good.”

Xander looked into her eyes, and understanding bloomed in his. He nodded.

“I love you,” he said, stroking her face gently.

“I know,” she sniffled, smiling sadly. “I love you, too.”

Xander nodded.

“You should go.”

Xander said nothing, only smiled back at her, turned, and left.

Willow did her best not to cry. As, it seemed to her, with so many things throughout her life, her best was not nearly enough.

Six

“I think you’re right,” Buffy said, startling Willow out of a daze. They were on one of the couches in the student lounge.

“What? Right about what?” Willow asked.

“About Xander and Faith,” Buffy said. She leaned in close to Willow to speak conspiratorially. “I think something fishy’s going on.”

Willow scowled. “Why?”

Buffy shrugged. “She was asking me about him last night during patrol.”

“Asking what, specifically?” Willow asked.

“If he and I had ever… you know… done it with him.”

“Oh,” Willow said. She sounded surprised, but Buffy thought there was something off about her tone.

“Yeah. And she was pretty insistent about it, too. Do you think maybe she’s crushing –”

“Oh, look, I got these!” Willow said. She pulled some envelopes out of her bag and spread them out on the table. Buffy’s eyes bugged.

“You’re kidding,” Buffy said.

“Kidding about what?” Xander asked as he and Oz sat down on the couch across from them. Xander started rifling through the packets. “Willow. What are these?”

“They’re early admission packets,” Willow said.

“Harvard, Yale,” Xander read. “Wesleyan. Some… German polytechnical institute whose name I uh… I can’t pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? Cause I’m just expecting thin slips of paper with the words ‘No Way’ written in crayon.”

“They’re typing those now,” said Oz.

“Oh,” Xander said.

“I’m so overwhelmed,” Willow said, happily. Buffy looked through some of the packets. “I got in! To actual colleges, a-and they’re wooing me. They’re pitching woo.”

“The wooing stage is always fun,” Buffy said. Angel did have such dreamy eyes when he looked at her just so.

“But it’s weird,” Willow continued. “You know, rejection, I can handle, cause of the years of training, but this…”

“I feel your pain, Will,” Xander said. “Like right now, I’m torn between the fast growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I’m still waitin’ to hear back from the Corndog Emporium, so…” he crossed his fingers. Xander was such a goofball. He was totally going to turn out fine, and they all knew it. Even he knew it, Buffy was sure. He just liked being funny. He couldn’t possibly believe that his life was *that* bad. She smiled and laughed.

“Well I think it’s great,” Buffy said. “Early admission. Now there’s nothing standing between you and a brilliant future.”

“If I may suggest,” Oz said. “Graduate. Gettin’ left back? Not the thrill ride you’d expect.”

“That’s so cute!” said a feminine voice. Buffy turned and saw Cordelia approaching. “Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you’re really taking charge.” She was directing her comments at Xander. Buffy was trying not to judge Cordelia, or be mean to her, especially since the whole Xander and Willow cheating thing, but Cordelia could sometimes be really vicious, and Xander didn’t deserve it.

“The comedy stylings of Ms. Cordelia Chase, everyone,” Xander said bitterly, clapping his hands. “Who incidentally won’t be needing a higher education when she markets her very own successful line of hooker-wear.”

Of course, Xander really could hold his own against her, so Buffy figured she shouldn’t worry too much.

“Well, Xander,” Cordelia said, “I could dress more like you, but oh. My father has a job.” She turned and walked off.

‘Bitch,’ thought Buffy. There really was no need to bring Xander’s family life into a nice little insult-fest between exes.

“I’m not going to waste the perfect come back on you now,” Xander said to Cordelia’s back. “But don’t think I don’t have it. Oh yes, its time will come.” He turned back to the group. “So, life beyond high school. Anyone. Please. Chime in.”

“I hear it’s nice,” Buffy said. “And a place I’ll never go, if I don’t pass Mrs. Haggert’s chemistry test tomorrow.”

“Oh, I can help,” Willow said. “Chemistry’s easy. It’s a lot like witchcraft, only, less newt. So, what do you say, study jam, my house, tonight?”

“I’m there,” Buffy said. The bell rang. “Oh. I have to go see Giles, report on last night’s patrol.”

“Oh, yeah, he said he wanted to talk to you,” said Willow.

“What about?” Buffy asked, a little concerned. Giles didn’t usually ask after her until lunchtime, at least. “Is he okay?”

Willow winced a little. “He’s… looked better.”

Buffy sighed. “Better go see what’s up,” she said. She turned to Xander. “Walk me?”

“Sure thing,” Xander said. He got up and joined her for her stroll.

“So,” Buffy said. “Faith was asking about you last night.” She thought she saw him twitch, but shrugged it off.

“Okay,” Xander said.

“You don’t find that at all weird?” Buffy asked.

“Buff, we live on a Hellmouth. I don’t find… little dead kids who are actually fairy tales weird. What could I possibly find odd about an attractive woman asking about me?” he asked. “Actually, when I put it like that…”

“So you think she’s attractive,” Buffy said, accusingly.

“Well, yeah,” said Xander. “I’m male, and breathing. She kinda, you know… oozes sexuality. But I find lots of girls attractive, you know, so whatever, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Hmph,” Buffy said. She hated it when things like logic derailed her perfectly good gossipy ideas. They arrived at the library.

“Uh oh,” Xander said, peeking in through the portholes. “Second stuffy British guy alert.”

Buffy looked as well. “Oh, man.”

“Looks like someone’s got a new watcher,” Xander said. He smiled at her as he walked off towards class. “Make sure this one’s not evil, huh?”

Buffy smiled at him and waved, before pushing through the doors to what was just destined to be a painful experience.

***

Xander was fairly certain that he was in the most awkward situation of his life to this point. He was alone in a grocery store, at 9 pm, purchasing nothing but a package of Twinkies and a home pregnancy test. He had meant to do this right after school, but… well, this type of thing, he had to work up the nerve for.

And worse. The only cashier on duty had gone to Sunnydale High. Xander hoped and prayed that his status as class loser would keep the guy from remembering him.

“Hey, Harris,” the guy said as Xander walked up. So much for hoping and praying.

“Hey, Richard,” Xander said, looking anywhere but at the guy’s face.

Richard swept both the Twinkies and the test over the scanner without so much as a glance. Xander handed the young man his money, and grabbed the bag from the counter.

“Oh, Harris,” Richard said.

“Yeah?” Xander asked.

“You still dating Cordelia?”

“No,” Xander said. “Not for a while now.”

“Maaaaan,” Richard said. “That sucks for you. Tell her I said hey, would you?”

Xander cocked his head to one side. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “I’ll just do that, then.”

“Hey, great!” Richard said, completely missing Xander’s sarcasm. “Thanks, man.”

Xander nodded at the guy and left the store. He considered going over to Willow’s, but thought he had relied on her enough for the time being. It wasn’t fair to her. Xander knew that, no matter how hard she was trying, she wasn’t going to be able to get over him just like that. And however much that made him feel good about himself, he couldn’t stand causing her more pain. Xander steeled his nerve and went to Faith’s apartment.

But there was no answer at her door, so Xander went home. Which was boring, because his dad was drunk, and watching the television, and Xander had no intention of breaking that up, so he up and went back to the library. After getting the evil-eye from the new Watcher, Xander asked Giles if there was anything he could do. Giles quite happily put him to work reshelving books, while he and Wesley waited for Buffy to return from whatever mission it was that Wesley had sent her on.

“Mr. Giles,” Wesley said. He had been looking through some books that Xander vaguely recognized as Giles’ Watcher Diaries. “I wonder if I might speak to you for a moment.” Xander took in the evil eye the new guy was giving him, and almost laughed.

Giles waved the man into his office, rolled his eyes once so that only Xander could see, then shut the door behind himself. Xander shook his head and kept reshelving. He heard some raised voices behind the door, and thought he picked out his name once or twice. About thirty seconds later, the door opened again and Wesley came back into the room looking angry.

“You,” he said, pointing straight at Xander.

“Uh. Me?” Xander asked. He looked behind the guy, to where Giles looked kinda peeved. Which was impressive, because he usually only looked that way about Xander himself. And occasionally Buffy, but usually Xander.

“Yes, you,” the guy said. “If you were researching the best way to kill a Dan’til demon, in what book would you find the method?”

“A what demon?” Xander asked.

“Green, scaly, about seven-and-a-half feet tall, tentacles that come out of its head, both front and back,” Giles said. “Rather slimy by all accounts.”

“Oh,” Xander said. “You gotta stab it in the chest, but real hard, though. But it doesn’t have to be a big weapon. Dagger’ll do.”

“Wrong!” Wesley said. “Not only did you not answer my question, but you got the method of killing it wrong. You see, Mr. Giles, he is unfit to be included in this. It is no place for civilians.”

“Mmm,” Giles said, chewing on the end of his glasses. “Show him a picture, why don’t you?”

“What?” Wesley asked.

“I said, show him a picture.”

“Oh, very well.”

As Wesley delved into one of the books on the table, Giles seemed to look amused. Xander walked down from the stacks to the table, and waited for the picture.

“Here,” Wesley said, showing Xander a picture of the demon. “*This* is a Dan’til demon.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “Right. Like I thought. Stab it.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong,” Xander said.

“The book says here –”

“I don’t care what the book says,” Xander interrupted. “The fact is, Buffy killed one of those a few weeks ago. She stabbed it in the chest with a dagger, and it died, so quit with your trying to make me look dumb, Mr. Snarky Watcher guy. I’m not quitting the fight. Undomesticated equines couldn’t forcibly remove me.”

Giles looked up at him, a surprised look on his face, and Xander grinned goofily. “Willow and I did a report on horses back in elementary school. A few words stuck.”

Giles smiled warmly at him. Xander liked when he did that, it made him feel like there was an adult role model who wasn’t entirely ashamed of him all the time. Gee, why would that make him feel good?

“But, but,” Wesley said.

“But nothing,” Xander said, turning back to the annoyance. “By the way, if you try to give Faith that stupid test, I’ll kill you. And if any of my friends get hurt because of you, I’ll feed you to a vampire.” He smiled at Giles. “See you tomorrow.”

Giles nodded, lifting his glasses in an almost-nod.

“He can’t be serious!” Wesley protested. Xander waited just outside the library door to hear what they said. “Threatening a Watcher?”

“Don’t be silly,” Giles said, lightly. “Of course he was serious. If you’d read all my entries before jumping to conclusions, you’d see that he has acquitted himself quite well, for a boy his age. Much better, I imagine, than you would.”

Xander smiled and left, feeling much better than when he had arrived.

***

The next day, after Buffy skipped out on her chemistry test – the one, Willow pointed out, that she had definitely not shown up to study for – Xander pretty much wandered around wondering what in the hell he was supposed to do. He was still reluctant to go back to Willow – he knew she’d help him, he just didn’t want to hurt her.

So he went back to Faith’s apartment, and when he didn’t find her there, he waited outside her door for her to return, and busied himself with counting the number of dots on the ceiling tiles.

He was awakened by Faith’s foot in his kidney.

“Whabu!” he said as he woke up.

“Whabu?” Faith asked. She slipped her key into the lock and opened the door, without saying another word. But she left the door open, and Xander felt that was an implicit invitation. A step, he thought, in the right direction.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked.

“What are you, my watcher?”

“No,” Xander said. “Just interested.”

Faith looked at him. “I was out with B.”

Xander nodded.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came to see you,” he said. “Thought you might like a little company.” Yeah. And by the way, can you pee on this stick?

“Whatever,” Faith said, pulling a soda from the fridge. She tossed it to Xander and then grabbed one for herself. He was surprised by the action, but chose not to comment.

“You okay?” he asked, surveying her arm. Her elbows were scuffed up, and she had a small – and rapidly shrinking – bruise on her forehead.

“Fine,” she said. “Just a little rough and tumble coming out of the squad car.”

“The sq—the cops?”

“Yeah,” Faith said. She took a long pull from her soda. “Me and B kinda got a little arrested tonight. It’s no big, we knocked ‘em out and got away.”

“No big?” Xander asked, incredulously. He wondered what was a ‘big’ if not getting arrested. “Faith, you could be in jail right now.”

“Ain’t a jail yet built that can hold me,” she said. “I’m really not worried.”

“I am,” he said, putting his drink down. “Faith, look, don’t get angry at me for saying this, please, but… just because you’re a Slayer doesn’t make you above the law. I mean, you guys deserve some leniency, but… I mean, if you start thinking you’re just better than everyone, what’s to stop you from killing someone you don’t like? Or who annoys you?”

“That ain’t gonna happen,” Faith said.

“I know, I just… I worry. Too much at times, but it’s what I do.”

Faith frowned.

“Look, just do me a favor… well, two, actually.”

“What?” she asked.

”Just be careful out there, okay? I know you don’t believe that any of us give a crap about you, or whatever, but it’s not true. We do. I do. So just… be careful.”

Faith sighed. “What’s the other favor?”

Xander steeled himself, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the home pregnancy test. “Use this.”

“Fuck you,” she spat.

“Hey!” he said. “Look, I know you don’t believe you’re pregnant, and that’s fine. But what if you are, okay? I may not be a great material for a father, but if I’m going to be one, I’d like to know.”

She glared at him.

“Look, you take the test, and it comes back negative, and I’ll stop bugging you.”

Xander saw what looked almost like regret in her eyes, but it was quickly covered by even more anger.

“Of co—”

“What I meant,” Xander interrupted, “was that I’d stop bugging you about that. I’m still gonna come over here and harass you though.”

“Yeah right,” she said. “You’ll have had what you want and take off.”

“That’s not true,” he said.

“Bullshit. Why the hell would you come back?”

Xander looked directly into her eyes. “Because I should have been doing it in the first place. Because I don’t ignore my friends.”

“What makes you think we’re friends?” she asked, harshly.

“You are my friend,” Xander said, an amount of certainty in his voice that even he was surprised at. “That means that I will bug you, annoy you, probably make an ass of myself in front of you, and I’ll also support you at every turn – not blindly, but wholeheartedly. Whether or not I’m your friend is up to you.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Faith muttered. But she ripped the test from his hand. “You swear on your life that if I use this, you won’t bug me anymore?”

“If it comes up negative, I will no longer bug you about you maybe being pregnant with my child, yes,” he said. He shivered as he spoke, infused with the knowledge that he was not prepared to be a father. God he hoped it came out negative.

Faith tossed everything that wasn’t the pee-on-stick and stalked off to her bathroom. Xander retrieved the instructions, feeling it was important to know what the results actually said. About a minute later, Faith returned with the stick. “What now?” she asked, impatiently.

“Now,” Xander said, without looking up from the instructions, “we wait.”

“How long’s this thing gonna take?” she asked.

“Just a few minutes,” Xander said calmly. Calm, because if he let out even a little bit of the whirlwind of worry and hope and doubt and inner loathing, he knew he would crack. Son-of-a-bitch, why hadn’t they used a condom?

Oh right, he thought. He knew he was never going to score, so why would he bother to have one on him?

“Okay,” Xander said after the appropriate amount of time had passed. “Now, we look at the little thing, and compare it with the chart.”

Faith walked over and stood close beside him, holding the stick out in front of her. They looked at the stick, then back at the paper. Then at the stick again, and back to the paper one more time.

“Nuh uh,” Faith said. “No fucking way.”

“Okay,” Xander said. “The test says positive.”

“It’s wrong,” she said. “It’s wrong, I know it is.”

“I think,” Xander said, “that that’s a possibility. Willow said these things weren’t—”

“Willow said?!?” Faith yelled. Shit. He obviously should have phrased that differently. “I knew it! I just knew you were bragging about all this shit to anyone who would listen, especially your little red-headed bit –”

“It broke her heart when I told her!” Xander yelled, slamming his fist down on the counter. Faith backed up a step.

“Willow was in love with me for the longest time, and I broke her heart so often… and this time, she just didn’t even try to hide it. And I hate myself for that. But she overlooked her own pain, and she came through for me, she helped me when I needed it, because even though she used to *dream* about being in the position you are, she’s my friend, and I needed her, and that was enough. Because she’s Willow. And she’s my best friend. And she is the best person I’ve ever known, so don’t you *ever* talk about her that way.”

Faith stood there silent, shock evident on her face. Xander continued to stare at her. After about twenty seconds, she broke. “Yeah,” she said, softly. “Um. Sorry.”

“I just… Will’s parents ignore her a lot, and she didn’t have a lot of friends when we were growing up, and on top of that I unwittingly tortured her for years, and now that I know, well… I get a little protective. This has really been testing our friendship.”

Xander helped himself to a glass of water, and downed it in one gulp.

“Listen,” Faith said. “I… I didn’t know. I thought –”

“I know what you thought,” Xander said softly. He placed the glass in the sink softly, and turned around. They looked at each other in silence for a few minutes.

“So now what?” Faith asked.

Xander took a deep breath. “Now we make absolutely sure, and that means going to a doctor.”

“I don’t have insurance,” Faith said. “Or money, for that matter. Not that I can spare. G gave me some, but I gotta live off that.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Xander said. “I’m not quite sure how, yet, but I’ll figure something out.”

Faith nodded once, and released a shuddering breath. “Okay,” she said. “Do what you have to. I just… fuck. I need to know.”

Xander nodded and turned to leave, but stopped before he got to the door. “You know, Faith,” he said, “one day you’re going to have to trust somebody.”

He left without waiting for her response.

Seven

“It takes some doing,” Giles said. “A lot of finesse… well, not so much finesse, I suppose, as endurance.”

“What does?” Wesley asked. The pompous ass walked into the library as if he ran the place.

“Replacing the cards in all of the books with bar codes,” Giles said. “Not a task to be undertaken lightly.”

“Mmm,” said the only *actual* watcher in the room. “Yes, I suppose it would. Fortunately, some of us have more important things to do with our time.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “Like sending my friends out on missions, without offering them cookies.”

Giles smiled. With Xander’s energies focused on annoying the new watcher, he found the lad to be not nearly as trying as normal. “Was there something you wanted, however?” he asked of the boy. “As much as my already fragile ego would like to believe it, I cannot fathom that you came here on a Saturday merely to talk about library sciences.”

Xander smiled at him. “Can we talk in your office?”

“Certainly,” Giles said. He turned to Wesley. “If you need anything… get it yourself.” Giles saw Xander stifle a laugh, and he followed the boy into his office, shutting the door behind him.

“What can I do for you?” Giles asked as he sat down across from Xander. It was, in truth, rare that Xander would come to him – or anyone, for that matter – for help. He hoped he was up to the task.

“I need to borrow some money,” Xander said.

“Beg your pardon?” Giles said. This was certainly not what he expected.

“I need to borrow some money,” Xander said, “and I need for you not to ask questions. Just know that it is extremely important.”

“Xander…” Giles started.

“It’s not illegal,” Xander said. “And it’s not dangerous. I swear. But I just…” he shook his head and fell silent. Giles looked into his eyes and saw determination, fear, and desperation.

“Of course,” Giles said softly. “How much do you need?”

”I’m not sure yet,” Xander said. Giles looked confused. “It’s just, the pricing on the thing, I’m not sure. I just, I needed to know, otherwise I’d have to pursue other, you know, avenues.”

“How –”

“It shouldn’t be more than a couple of hundred, though,” he said. “And I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”

“It’s all right, Xander,” Giles said, soothingly. The boy seemed to be, at the same time, relieved and more jittery than ever. “Don’t worry about it. You say it is important, and I believe you. Take care of what you must, and inform me of what you need.”

Xander nodded. “Thank you,” he said.

“Of course,” said Giles.

“No, really,” Xander said. “I mean it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Xander,” Giles said.

“Okay,” Xander said, standing up. “I should uh, get to working things out.”

“Of course,” said Giles. He watched as Xander stood and left the library. Something was important enough to make Xander come to him for help – for money, no less, something he was certain that Xander was not comfortable talking about. At least, that was the impression he’d gotten from the way Cordelia had always brought it up.

Giles sighed. He’d just have to pay closer attention for a while, to see if he could find any clues as to what it was Xander was caught up in.

***

“I really do think there is something going on,” Buffy said. Willow was barely paying attention.

“Huh?” she asked. Yes. That was the best way not to arouse any suspicion, play dumb.

“Xander and Faith,” Buffy said. “Where are you today?”

“Just… distracted,” Willow said, holding up one of two small black pouches for Buffy. “Oh, but look. Smell this.”

“Mmm,” Buffy said as she took the bag and smelled it.

“You like it?” Willow asked, her tone much perkier.

“It smells good,” Buffy said. “What is it?”

Willow smiled. She was always happy when she got to help out with the Slaying, especially something important, or something new. “Just a little something we witches like to call a protection spell.”

“Good deal, protection,” Buffy said, sniffing the bag again. “I'm surprised, though, 'cause usually spell stuff's more...”

“Stinky,” Willow finished. It had taken her hours just to get the mix right. “Yeah. That's why I added lavender. Give me time, and I may be the first Wicca to do all my conjuring in pine fresh scent. So what's the plan?”

Buffy looked at her, as if seeking more knowledge.

“For tonight's slayage,” Willow prompted. “We're going, aren't we?” “Yeah,” Buffy said. But she was getting all avoidy, and that never meant happy-fun time.

“Great!” said Willow, hoping that there wasn’t more to say, but knowing there was.

“But...” Buffy said. Yeah, here it came. Another disappointment coming down the line for Willow. “There's a 'but'. And that's ‘but you shouldn't come... tonight.' Is that cool?”

Willow was hurt. It felt crappy to know someone thought you couldn’t handle yourself. She wondered, idly, if Xander had – oh God, he had. And that must have been the night that – the timing added up, too. Oh no, what if they had driven him to – Buffy was still waiting for an answer. “Well, sure. Makes sense. You know... You'll be facing big, hairy danger.”

“Uh, b-biggest and very hairy,” Buffy said. Willow knew she was reaching.

“You'll be risking your life,” Willow said.

“Right,” Buffy said. “And why risk yours?”

“Because I'm your friend?” Willow suggested. Did Buffy really not get that she – and Xander, she felt compelled to add, were willing to risk that? For her, and for the things that needed to be done?

“I know, Will, and that's exactly why I don't want you going. It's, it's too dangerous.”

“But I-I've done this sort of thing before! Like, a million times, and I can totally handle myself. Besides,” she said, holding up her own black pouch, “minty fresh protection. So?”

There was a knock at Buffy’s bedroom door, and Faith walked in.

“Ready? Time to motor,” Faith said. She visibly glanced over and saw Willow on the bed, looking sad. “Hey, Willow.”

“Hi,” Willow said, unenthusiastically. She turned back to Buffy. “Uh…”

“You comin’ with?” Faith asked, taking a step back towards the door.

“What?” Willow asked. She was confused. Faith gave a crap what she was doing?

“She, uh… wasn’t,” Buffy said. “I thought it was too dangerous.”

Faith shrugged. “Whatever, she’s been doin’ this longer ‘n I have. More the merrier, I say.”

Buffy looked as confused as Willow felt. Why was Faith defending her? What did she ever –

“Besides,” Faith said. “Maybe she’ll keep Xander outta trouble or something.”

Oh. Xander. Right.

“Xander’s not coming,” Buffy said. She seemed so certain.

“Yeah, tell him that,” said Faith.

“He’s not coming,” Buffy insisted. Her eyes narrowed. “What were you doing with him, anyway?”

“I was walkin’ over here,” Faith said. “His place is between mine and yours, he must have seen me, or something, I don’t know. Anyway, he said he’s coming. It’s not my job to tell him no.”

”He can’t come!” Buffy protested. “He could get hurt!”

“And what are you?” Xander asked, stepping into the room, “Invincible? Or was that someone else I gave the breath of life to?”

“Xander, it’s not the same,” Buffy said. “I just… I worry.”

Xander smiled goofily at her. “Well think of it like this. If we come with, you can look out for us?”

“Yeah!” Willow said. She had gotten over the shock of actually seeing Xander and Faith together – and no, she wasn’t buying that ‘I ran into him on my way over’ story – and was now prepared to join in the argument. “Where would we be safer than with two Slayers as protection.”

Xander shifted his grin to her, and she happily returned it.

“Fine,” Buffy said. “Fine. But if either of you die, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Xander and Willow smiled, as Buffy thrust her black pouch towards Xander. “And you’re taking this.”

***

“Wow, is it this quiet every night you two slay together?” Xander asked. “Because I gotta admit, I imagined a bit more, you know… lip-lock.” He withered under the glares of three women. Willow’s was especially harsh.

“You guys stay here for a minute,” Buffy said to Willow and Xander. She pointed to a small alcove. “I just want to check out this alley first.”

The two non-Slayers rolled their eyes as Buffy and Faith entered the alley.

“So, why were you really with Faith?” Willow asked, quietly.

Xander sighed. “The home test came back positive,” he whispered. “I refused to let her patrol when I’m not around. It may be chauvinistic of me, but I’m not going to –”

“It makes sense,” Willow said, a half-hearted smile on her face. “You’re really taking this seriously.”

“Of course,” Xander said, a little offended. “It’s a child, I’m not going to –”

“No, I know,” Willow said. “I just, I’m impressed that’s all. You’re going to be a great father, Xander.”

Xander smiled down at his best friend. “Well, we’re going to the doctor soon – I made an appointment for Monday, and got an estimate on the lab work. Giles said he’d give me the money –”

“Oh, thank God you told him,” Willow said. “He’s really the one who should –”

“I didn’t tell him, Will,” Xander said. “I can’t face that yet. I just, I asked him for the money, and his trust. He said yes.”

“Oh,” said Willow. “Well, it’s good he trusts you.”

Xander smiled, and a loud noise echoed out from the alley, along with a growl and a couple of grunts. The two exchanged a look and went running into the alley, Xander out pacing Willow even over the short space.

As he ran up, Xander saw Buffy stake a vampire on top of a bunch of crates. She and Faith were both breathing heavily. They moved forward in the alley, and a man in a suit stepped out of the shadows. Buffy instinctively grabbed him and tossed him against a dumpster at the end of the alley, just as Xander caught up to her. He realized at the same time as Buffy that the guy in the suit was a human.

“Faith, NO!” Buffy yelled as Faith raised her stake. Xander allowed his momentum to carry him forward and tackled Faith before she could stake the man, making sure to roll in midair so he would cushion her fall. Her stake came down awkwardly, scraping across his back and ripping his shirt as he took her to the ground.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!?” Buffy yelled at the man by the dumpster. He was rubbing his head. “You don’t just jump into a frigging war zone and tap a soldier on the shoulder! Jesus!”

“Buffy, calm down,” Willow said, panting from the run. “There could be more baddies around here.”

“What the hell were you doing?” Xander asked angrily, as he and Faith disentangled themselves… but stayed close to each other. Faith seemed shaken from the incident.

“I… I work with the mayor,” Finch said. “I have information.”

Buffy’s eyes bugged out, and she smacked him on the head. “Well what the hell are you doing approaching us here? Next time, try using your brain! Now get up, we’ve got to get out of here.”

Xander stood and helped Faith up off the ground, just as Willow came over to check his wound. He winced when her finger ran over the scrape, but he was okay, otherwise.

“Buffy,” said a voice from the shadows. Xander rolled his eyes, the same, he noticed, as Faith did. That creepy-stalker-from-the-shadows thing was really getting old.

“Angel,” Buffy said, in that tone she saved only for him. Xander was always jealo – except wait. He wasn’t, this time. “What’s up?”

“Balthazar’s guys, they got Giles. What happened here?”

“This jackass almost got himself killed, is what,” Xander said. Faith was eerily quiet.

“Okay,” Buffy said, taking charge of the situation. “Angel and I will go get Giles. Faith, you take Xander, Willow and mister Brainiac here back to my house, and we’ll deal with him later, okay?”

“Buffy,” Xander said, “we should be helping –”

“Look, Angel and I can handle whatever Fatty McDemonoid has to offer, okay? But that guy might have serious knowledge, and we need him safe.”

“Fine,” Xander said. “We’ll get him out.”

“Good,” Buffy said. She turned to Angel. “Let’s go.”

“Buffy!” Xander called as the two of them ran off.

“What?” she yelled back.

“Be careful,” Xander said. She smiled at him, and ran off into the night. As Xander helped suited-guy up off the ground. As they began to walk back to Buffy’s house, he heard Willow muttering behind him.

“Fatty McDemonoid?”

***

“Is everything all right?” Joyce asked as much of the group – not, however, Buffy – trudged back into her house.

“Pretty much,” Xander said, with a comforting smile. “Buffy and Angel just went off to rescue Giles and the boy wonder from a vampire cult that worships a not-as-dead-as-we-thought demon. Wacky hijinks are sure to follow.”

“The boy wonder?” Joyce asked.

“New watcher,” Willow said. “Giles’ replacement. Only Giles isn’t leaving.”

“And who is this?” Joyce asked, indicating the suited guy.

“Deputy Mayor Alan Finch, apparently,” Xander said. “Also known as the idiot who likes to almost get himself killed. We don’t know what he wants yet, but it’s something to do with badness. We’re waiting for Giles.”

“I see,” Joyce said. Xander could tell she was trying very hard not to worry, or maybe even panic.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Summers,” Xander said. “Buffy will be fine. She and Angel are pro’s.”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “They’ve done stuff way worse than this. This probably won’t even be all that bad. Right Faith?”

Faith looked up from the chair she had sat in. “What? Oh. Yeah. Shouldn’t be any problem.”

“Well,” Joyce said. She seemed slightly mollified. “Can I get you kids something to drink? Or you Mr. Finch?”

“Um… water,” Finch said. A chorus of agreements from the ‘kids’ followed, and Willow volunteered to help bring the glasses. Finch seemed not to be paying any attention to his surroundings. He looked like he was in shock. A look, Xander noticed, that wasn’t too far from how Faith looked.

“Hey,” Xander said to her. He cocked his head toward the door, and she nodded, and went outside. He followed, shutting the door behind her.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Nothing happened. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno,” Xander said. “Maybe cuz you almost killed a guy?”

“Hey, it wasn’t –”

“It wouldn’t have been your fault,” Xander interrupted. “I mean, the guy was an idiot, and you were being attacked from all around. It wouldn’t have been your fault.”

“But I almost… I almost killed him.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “But you didn’t.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Look,” Xander said. “It’s gotta be… disconcerting, knowing what could have happened. But it didn’t. So don’t worry about it.”

“But what if I had?” Faith asked.

Xander shrugged. “Then we’d talk to Giles. I’m willing to bet that it’s happened at some point before.” Faith nodded, quietly, hugging her arms to herself, to protect against the unseasonably cool night. She didn’t, he noticed, take any exception to the word ‘we’.

“What do you think about Finch?” Faith asked.

“Other than his complete idiocy? I don’t know. He’s the deputy mayor. Maybe he’s got some insight into what the *actual* mayor is doing. Or maybe he likes to attack pretty girls in alleys late at night. Either way, there’s about zero chance we let him out of here without Giles picking his brain.”

Faith nodded. The door opened behind them.

Eight

Willow was concerned. For Xander. For the child inside of Faith. For, she was surprised to find, Faith herself. And of course the whole thing about the Mayor maybe wanting to take over the world was slightly worrisome. But when she returned from the kitchen and set the glasses of water down, Faith and Xander were nowhere to be seen.

Willow looked around and saw a couple of shadows outside, moving around a little bit. She sighed. Even now, she could feel Xander pulling away from her, and she knew why, too. It wasn’t because he, apparently, had a kid on the way. It was because he’d hurt her, and was trying to distance himself so he wouldn’t anymore.

But the pulling away hurt, too. And now Willow knew how he felt after she sidelined him following their horribly-bad-but-extremely-nice-at-the-time kisses. And groping.

The point was, she needed her Xander, and she was damn sure he needed his Willow, and she was determined not to let anything come between their mutual needing of each other. Or rather, the comforting presence and best-friendliness that came as a result of the mutual needing. It didn’t matter. It had been only a few days, but she missed him anyway.

But she also knew he needed to get things sorted out, and the more he did that on his own, the better off she thought he’d be. But she could already tell he was starting to feel something for Faith. It was right there on his Xander-face, but she wasn’t sure anybody else actually saw it. Not even him. And she wouldn’t allow Xander to get hurt, not again, and certainly not by someone who was probably going to be the mother of his child in several months.

Willow put on her resolve face and opened the door.

“Xander,” she said, firmly. “Go inside.”

“What?”

“Go inside,” Willow said. “I need to talk to Faith, and I don’t want to leave Mrs. Summers alone with the deputy evil mayor.”

”Will,” Xander started. “There’s nothing –”

“Xander,” Willow said, stepping closer to him, so he could see her face. “Go inside.”

Xander stared at her face for a moment, nodded, and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“What’s up, Red?” Faith asked.

“Three things,” Willow said. “First, thank you for standing up for me this afternoon, about the patrolling. Buffy means well, but she gets overprotective sometimes.”

“No prob,” Faith said. “’Sides, I figured you could distract X enough that Buffy wouldn’t get suspicious about nothing. And hey, thanks for keeping this thing on the DL, you know? That’s real solid of ya.”

“Second,” Willow said, ignoring Faith’s comments, “I’m glad that you’re taking what’s going on seriously, now. The whole pregnancy thing. A child is a big responsibility, and if you find out you’re having one, this helps put my mind at ease that you will take seriously issues dealing with the child. I’m prepared to help any way I can, but you need to be prepared for major lifestyle changes.”

Faith nodded. She seemed, Willow thought, to understand that this discussion – lecture, really – was deadly serious.

“Third,” she said, taking what she hoped was a single menacing step forward. Her voice lowered and her eyes reduced to mere slits “I grew up with exactly two friends. Jesse died the first day we met Buffy. He got turned, and Xander had to stake him. This leaves me with one childhood friend. If you hurt Xander, I will cause you more pain than you can imagine, and the only thing that will spare your life is that I would never deprive his child of its mother. Are we clear?”

Faith’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and she nodded once, very slowly. Normally, Willow knew, Faith would dismiss any such threats, especially from a girl with no strength to speak of. Willow hoped that meant Faith was taking her seriously.

Willow turned to go back inside, but Faith grabbed her arm, and turned her around.

“What makes you think I could hurt Xander? What makes you think I have any power over him at all, other than this kid?”

Willow looked into Faith’s eyes and saw a genuine curiosity.

“Because,” she said. “It’s not there yet, but he’s starting to look at you like he looked at Buffy. Like he never looked at Cordelia. Like he never looked at me.”

Faith looked even more confused. Willow smiled sadly, and went back inside. She felt her job was, for the moment, complete.

***

Faith was still standing alone on the porch when Giles’ car pulled up, and he and Buffy got out.

“You left them in there alone?” Buffy asked, when she saw Faith outside. She seemed angry.

“Uh, yeah,” Faith said. “Dude’s harmless, B, I checked him out. No worries.”

“But you just left him in there with my mother!” Buffy yelled.

“Yeah,” Faith said, leaning back against the railing on the porch. “And Willow, and Xander. It’s safe.”

Buffy looked even angrier. “But what if he’s evil!” she protested. “He could be in there right now –”

“That’s enough, Buffy,” Giles said. “You said that you felt nothing demonic about his presence, and I trust that, had Faith felt differently, she would not have left him alone. More than that, I am certain if she felt he was any threat, she would not have left him unattended. Not to mention that Xander and Willow have both shown themselves capable of handling many things.”

Buffy frowned, and obviously didn’t want to agree, so she just went inside instead.

“Bitch,” Faith muttered.

“That’s unfair of you,” Giles said. “Buffy can be harsh sometimes, but she has had a rough night. And while it was unfair of her to unload on you, neither would it be fair for you to do the same. Buffy is not what you said, she is merely worried about her friends and her family. Add that on to a stressful evening, in which Angel was injured, a new watcher who seems to be… somewhat… er…”

“He’s got a stick up his ass,” Faith said.

“Well… yes. Anyhow, Buffy has been taking that rather poorly. She should not have spoken to you as she did… but perhaps a little understanding on your part…”

“Yeah?” Faith asked. “What about how I’m handling things? What about stressful shit that’s going on in my life?”

“I don’t know,” Giles said. “You’ve not said a word to me since you got the apartment.” Faith opened her mouth to interrupt, but Giles continued talking. “I would be more than happy to help you with anything, Faith, to talk to you about whatever you wish, just to get to know you better. But I can’t always be the one to seek you out, and these past few days I’ve been very busy. The road must go both ways.”

Giles gave her a fatherly smile, and followed Buffy inside.

Faith stood alone on the porch. She looked inside and saw Giles and Buffy laughing, while Xander was waving his arms about. Even the deputy mayor seemed to be smiling – nervously, sure, but still. As she watched, the Scooby gang settled down to business, asking questions and playing off each other with a smoothness and comfort that spoke of great friendship.

She felt more than a little left out, and let out a big sigh.

“You can go in, you know,” said a voice from behind her. Faith whirled, pulling her stake as she turned. Angel held his hands up to show he meant no harm. Faith relaxed and put the stake away, noting what looked like big hand prints on each side of his face, and a slight smell of scorched hair.

“Next time, I’m stakin’ ya,” she growled. She turned back to look through the window.

“It’s tempting,” Angel said, standing outside the railing on the porch and leaning in over it. “Going in there. Joining in on the fun. Just a few simple steps, and maybe, just maybe, that world could be available. Open.”

“So why don’t you go?” Faith challenged.

“I’ve got too much to pay for,” Angel said. “Joyce doesn’t like me; Giles and Xander don’t trust me. And I don’t deserve it.”

Faith nodded. She stood still as Angel leaned closer to her, felt the breath he needed only for speaking as he leaned in to her ear. “What are you paying for, Faith? What’s stopping you? Who in there would not accept you?”

Faith felt him pull back, but did not react to his question. She stood, looking in the window, answering in her mind the question he had asked. She was surprised at the answer she found. Without a word, or a look backwards, Faith pushed away from the railing, opened the door, and stepped inside the house.

***

The entire group was scurrying about the library, even Cordelia. Hell, they even brought Wesley in. Deputy Mayor Alan Finch had told them a lot. What the mayor was doing; sacrificing people to turn himself into a demon and, oh yeah, becoming invincible. That little tidbit might have been nice to know before it happened.

Still, Xander thought, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Finch had quickly run back to the mayor, tail between his legs. The man was honestly afraid for his life, and his soul. He assured them he had come up with a good reason for not being with the mayor that night. He was going to try to feed them information, but he had to be extremely careful.

Or at least, that was what he said. And on the assumption he wasn’t lying, they were now in all-out research mode. Find anything and everything about an Ascension. As Xander skimmed through the book in front of him – it was in English, thank God – his mind was elsewhere. Tomorrow he and Faith had an appointment with the doctor. They would take her blood, and a few days later, they’d know if they would soon be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet of a child that would no doubt have a traumatic life, surrounded by death and a couple of really messed up parents.

Xander sighed and got back to the task at hand. He skimmed the page and found plagues, omens, foretellings and even the odd prophecy, but no Ascensions. Why didn’t these damn things have indexes? He worked his way through the rest of the book and found precisely nothing. When he stood up to get another one, Giles caught his eye and motioned subtly towards the office. Xander nodded and Giles went in ahead of him.

Xander looked around and saw that everyone was completely engrossed – or in Faith’s case, asleep – in their books. He fiddled around with the books for a second, and then followed Giles into his office, shutting the door behind him.

“Here,” Giles said when Xander had sat down. He pressed a wad of cash into Xander’s hand.

“What’s –”

“You said you needed some money, and that a few hundred would enough. That’s five.”

Xander’s eyes widened to almost ridiculous size. “Giles, I… thank you. I’ll pay you back when I can – with interest.”

“There’s no need,” Giles said. He pointed out his office window, to where Wesley was just that moment knocking over a pile of books, drawing scowls from both Buffy and Willow, and waking Faith up from an incongruously adorable state of vulnerability. Her face looked almost innocent for a moment before her shield kicked in, and the hard exterior was back. Wesley apologized profusely. “Just… consider it a gift from the Council. For services rendered.”

Xander caught on. “Interestingly,” he said, “any desire I had of paying this back just vanished.”

“Good,” Giles said, “and if you have some money left over after whatever you need, well… I’m sure you can find some use for it.”

Xander grinned. “I’m sure I can. And thanks again. I owe you one.”

“I assure you, that’s not necessary. And you’re welcome.”

Xander nodded and went back to research.

***

School on Monday was pretty much a blur. Xander was less able than normal to pay attention in his classes. Willow, however, came to his rescue as best she could, by taking notes so intricately detailed that he would, if he wished, be able to recreate the day’s lectures from scratch. Xander didn’t think he’d want to, but he would graciously accept the notes anyway.

Just before lunch time, though, some things got sufficiently odd as to draw his attention. People in the halls were talking about him. And that wasn’t ego run amok, it was the fact that every so often, somebody would point at him, or shush themselves when he passed by. But it wasn’t laugh-pointing, it was more ‘what the hell is up with that?’ pointing.

To be safe, Xander checked with Buffy and Willow. They confirmed he had no extra appendages, nor was his hair on fire. They were, however, receiving odd looks as well, and Buffy pointed out that Cordelia, who was at that moment walking across the cafeteria, was also getting odd looks.

As he was walking into his next class, Xander saw Cordelia corner some poor girl and demand… something or other. Her face grew angrier with everything the girl said, and Xander was really glad at the moment that it was not he on the receiving end of her verbal lashing.

After school, Xander sat in the library, checking his watch and the clock on the wall over and over, waiting the twenty-minutes he guessed he needed to wait, in order to show up at Faith’s place in time to take her to the doctor’s office.

“Xander,” Buffy said, entering the library mere moments before Xander was about to leave. “I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Uh. Okay. Sure,” he said, checking his watch for the umpteenth time.

“You’d tell me if you got the entire girl’s basketball team pregnant, right?”

Xander’s eyes widened. “Uh. Well. Yeah, Buff. I think I would tell you that.”

“Okay,” she said. Buffy sat down at the table, twiddled her thumbs for a moment, then looked up at Xander. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Xander looked at her, very seriously. “Buffy,” he said. “I have to admit… your hair looks really nice today.”

Buffy smiled. “So you didn’t get the basketball team pregnant?”

“No, I didn’t. Where the hell did you hear that?”

“Around,” Buffy said. “I guess that’s why we were all getting weird looks. Somebody started that rumor, then people must have figured that since me and Will hang around with you all the time, and Cordy used to date you, that we got pregnant too.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Xander said. He checked his watch again. “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see ya later, Buff.”

“Want company?” Buffy asked. “I don’t think I’m doing anything at the moment.”

“Er, well, it’s kind of a private –”

“Buffy, good, you’re here,” Wesley said as he walked into the library. “It is time to begin your daily training regimen.”

Buffy turned to Xander and rolled her eyes. “Sorry,” Xander said. He walked out of the library, pausing as he passed Wesley to whisper “Remember… vampires,” and headed off to meet Faith.

He didn’t even make it to his locker before Cordelia, leading a group of jocks and her newly-reacquired Cordettes, ambushed him in the hall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she demanded.

“Uh,” Xander said. “What?”

“I know what you’ve been telling people, you… you… idiot!”

“That was harsh,” Xander said. “You really hurt me that time, Cor.”

“I hurt *you*? That’s rich! This from the guy who’s been telling everyone I slept with him!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Xander asked. “I never said that.”

“Oh, right. Then you didn’t tell Richard Sutcliffe that we had sex, I suppose? He just made that one up all on his own?”

“Well, he must have!” Xander retorted. “I don’t talk to the guy! The last time I saw him I was buying –” he stopped short.

“Buying what?” Cordelia demanded.

Xander took a deep breath. “None of your business,” he said.

“Hey, if you bought something that’s making him tell people these things, it damn sure is my business!”

“It is NOT your business!” Xander retorted. “Nothing that I do is your business, not anymore.”

“Oh, and whose fault is that, exactly?”

“Cordelia… I said I was sorry about that, and I am. I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry that I hurt you. But I never said anything to anybody that could even remotely be taken as saying that we slept together.”

“What about that pregnancy test you bought?” asked some random guy in the crowd.

Silence reigned.

“Where did you hear that?” Cordelia asked.

“Richard Sutcliffe,” the guy said, stepping forward. Xander didn’t recognize him. “He told me you were in the store the other day buying a home pregnancy test.”

“Is that true?” Cordelia demanded.

Xander said nothing, and that was enough to convict him.

“And exactly what *slut* have you been shacking up with that you think you got her pregnant?” Cordelia asked, snobbily.

“Hey!” Xander said. “You don’t even know… don’t… I… it wasn’t…”

“Me,” Willow shouted, trying to shove her way through the crowd to Xander’s side. The startled crowd parted for her.

“Willow,” Xander said. “Don’t. It’s not –”

“Only we haven’t been sleeping together,” Willow continued defiantly. “I was too afraid to get it myself, and I asked Xander to, and he did it, so if you want to berate him for something, berate him for being a good friend. And for helping me deal with important, life changing events. I might be nervous about that, but I stopped being afraid of you a long time ago, Cordelia Chase.”

“Oh, yeah, right!” Cordelia said. “You’re just trying to protect him, just like you two always do. If you needed a pregnancy test, just who have *you* been sleeping with?”

“With her boyfriend,” said a voice from the back of the crowd. Everyone turned to look, and Oz walked up and wrapped his arm around Willow’s waist. He turned to face Cordelia, who looked like she was about to tear into him as well. Oz raised an eyebrow. “You think I’m protecting him?”

With those words, Cordelia deflated. “Fine,” she said. “Just so long as *everyone* knows that I never did it with you, Harris.”

“I’m sure nobody thinks you would ever lower yourself that much, Cor,” Xander said.

Cordelia glared at him, and looked like she wanted to start tearing into him again, but the crowd was already beginning to disperse, and thus, her reason for the public admonition. Cordelia pursed her lips, but nodded sharply and walked away, leaving, for all intents and purposes, Xander, Willow and Oz standing in the hall in an *extremely* awkward silence.

“Okay,” Xander said. “Oz, I owe you an explanation.”

“It’s cool,” Oz said.

“No,” said Xander. “You just put yourself on the line for me, and you deserve to know why.” Oz opened his mouth to interrupt again, but Xander continued speaking. “Even if you really only did it for Willow, that’s enough for me. You’ve earned the right to the truth.”

Oz nodded. Xander told him. Oz blinked, shrugged, and wished him good luck. Xander looked at his watch and cursed. He was going to be late. Faith was going to kill him.

Oz raised an eyebrow. “Need a ride?”

***

“Don’t be nervous,” Xander said. They had just checked in at the doctor’s office. When the nurse had asked for his insurance information, Xander had flashed the money Giles gave him and told the man why he was there. The nurse looked at the cash, checked a quick pricing chart, and pointed Xander and Faith to the waiting room. He had been leering at Faith the whole time.

“How the fuck can I not be nervous?” Faith hissed. A few other women in the room looked up at her sharply, and Faith, who knew how to deal with men of any age, but was not quite sure how to deal with older women, tried to hide behind her hair.

“Don’t pay attention to them, young lady,” said a very pregnant woman sitting across from the pair. She had a distinct southern accent. “Those hags are just jealous that you haven’t lost your figure, and that you’ve got such a fine lookin’ young man here with you. I bet half of ‘em would give up their chosen suitor for such a virile young specimen. Hell, I would, except it’d break poor Leon’s heart all to pieces, and I could never do that to my Leon.”

Xander blushed a little, but couldn’t help smiling.

“How far along are you?” Xander asked.

“Oh, I reckon I’m about seven and a half months,” she said. “I’m a pro at this. Leon’s at home now, with the other kids.” The woman reached into her bag, pulled out a wallet and started flipping through it. She pulled out a picture and handed it to Xander.

“These are my babies,” she said. “On the left is Joanne, she’s the oldest, she’s 4. Next is Jamie, he’s two, and next to him is my Leon. I’m Irma, by the way.”

“I’m Xander,” Xander said. “And this is Faith.” He looked her way. Faith was staring at the Irma’s stomach. “Hey, you okay?”

Faith turned her head slowly to him, her eyes still wide. “Am I gonna look… like that?”

Irma smiled. “Honey, you’re young. And you look lucky, so you’ll probably get your figure back. I did, after my first. Not that my figure was much to look at in the first place, but Leon liked it well enough.”

Xander smiled, and handed the picture back to Irma. “You have a beautiful family. Does your latest have a name, yet?”

“Not yet,” Irma said. “We’re lookin’ to keep up with the J names – it’s our favorite letter. Anyway, we haven’t looked to see if I’m carrying a boy or a girl, yet, so we can’t pick. We want to be surprised.”

Faith looked up. “How about Jesse?” she suggested. Xander looked at her in surprise.

“Hmm,” Irma said. “You know, that name’s not half bad. We could use it for either a boy or a girl… Sugar, you just might be on to something.”

“Harris?” called the nurse. Xander and Faith looked up and saw the young man waving a clipboard, beckoning them forward. They looked at each other. Xander saw fear in Faith’s eyes, and hoped, for her sake, that she didn’t see the same in his.

He wasn’t sure, though, because he was scared shitless.

Nine

“Okay,” said the doctor. His name was something like – oh, right. Mendes. It was right there on his name tag. “Well, we’ll send the blood to the lab, and we should have the results back in a few days. We’ll give you a call.”

Faith nodded.

“What’s a few?” Xander asked. He was standing beside her, and had been doing most of the talking. Faith was just staring at the little vial of blood that rested on her chart. A small glass jar that held the key, that would predict how her future would go.

The doctor smiled reassuringly, and Faith felt a little better. Which was odd. That stuff didn’t usually affect her. What if it was because the pregnancy was starting to mess with her hormones?

“Probably four at the most,” the doctor said. “Usually two or three, though. Nervous?”

Faith and Xander nodded in unison.

“Well,” Dr. Mendes said, “that’s perfectly natural. Every couple is usually nervous about their first. And, you two aren’t even the youngest we’ve had, you’re at least old enough to take care of yourselves. I had a girl in here last month, she was fourteen years old. And she didn’t know who the father was.” He shook his head. “She had a couple of parents who could help her, though. They were pretty loaded. I get the feeling you two aren’t that lucky?”

Faith and Xander shook their heads. “My parents… well, they don’t know we’re here,” Xander said. “Not that they’d help if they did. Not like they could if they wanted to.”

Dr. Mendes nodded sympathetically, and looked to Faith for her explanation. She looked down at the ground. “Gone,” she said, simply. “Better off, too.”

Dr. Mendes looked at Xander questioningly. Xander simply shrugged.

“Well,” Dr. Mendes said, “there’s really no need to plan ahead yet, not until we get these results back.” He waved them along behind him, and they followed. “And don’t worry. I’m sure everything will turn out just fine.”

“Thanks, Doctor,” Xander said. Faith felt him move to encircle her waist with his arm, but he pulled away before making contact. The doctor put Faith’s chart and her blood sample down on the nurse’s desk.

“We’ll call you in a few days,” Mendes said, before returning to his office. Faith stood idly by as Xander paid the nurse in cash for the visit and the lab work. She allowed Xander to lead her out the door. As they were leaving, a man in a leather coat and a fedora bumped into Faith.

“Sorry,” the guy said, in a fairly heavy New York accent, and a tone that didn’t sound apologetic at all. “My fault.”

Xander nodded, and Faith followed him back to her apartment. She didn’t see the man in the fedora whistle his way into the doctor’s office, and she certainly didn’t see him pull a vial of blood from his shirt pocket and slip quietly and stealthily behind the nurse’s desk when nobody was watching.

***

Willow was pacing. She didn’t usually pace, but she was nervous. More nervous than normal. Not that she was normally nervous, it was just that, when she got nervous, she wasn’t usually as nervous as this, and sometimes she got pretty nervous, especially when there was a prophecy or a particularly nasty demon.

Or that time at Christmas she had basically thrown herself at Oz. That one probably trumped this. Only just barely, though.

The elevator dinged, and Xander and Faith stepped out into the hallway. Xander looked somewhat relieved to see her. Faith just looked drained.

“How did it go?” Willow asked, wringing her wrists as Faith unlocked her door.

“Fine,” Faith said. She opened the door, and Willow and Xander both followed her in.

“What did the doctor say?” Willow asked.

“Your basic stuff,” Xander said. “How long has it been since her… you know… and how long since we… and a few other things. He said we should have the results by Friday at the latest.”

“Good,” Willow said. “That’s good. I-I talked to Buffy. Not about this… well, not directly, but… anyway, the point is, she said she misses her period occasionally, too. Sometimes by as much as two months. She just doesn’t worry about pregnancy, though, because… no sex. I guess the Slayer thing really does mess with your physiology. Anyway, I just thought… ray of hope.”

“How’d you pass it off?” Xander asked. He looked worried about Faith, who looked pale.

“Uh… I said I read about it in a Watcher’s Diary, and was wondering if it happened to her,” Willow said. “I’m pretty sure she believed me.”

Faith nodded, distractedly. “Are you okay?” Willow asked her.

Faith looked up at her, her eyes wide and her skin pale. Her lips had lost almost all of their color. “I could be pregnant,” she whispered. “I swore to myself I wasn’t gonna be like her, but here I am. Seventeen and knocked up, no education… no job, a lifestyle that’s gonna put me in an early grave. And now I might got a kid on the way.”

“I think that you—”

“No,” Faith said, rising to her feet. She rushed into her room and started throwing some clothes into a bag. “This isn’t going to happen.”

Willow and Xander followed her into the bedroom. “Where are you going?” Xander asked.

“I – no, this can’t happen,” Faith said. She continued stuffing things into the bag. “I’m not gonna be like her. I won’t.” She went to the dresser, pulled one drawer all the way out of its slot and grabbed a wad of cash that was taped to the back of it.

“Wait, you can’t leave,” Willow said.

“Oh yeah?” Faith asked. “Watch me.”

“Where are you going to go?” Xander asked.

“Away,” Faith said. “It’s not the ‘to’ that’s important, it’s the ‘from.’”

“Faith,” Willow said.

“You can’t stop me,” she said, as she bolted from the room.

“You can’t run from this,” Willow called after her, as she left the apartment.

“She seems to be doing a pretty good job,” Xander muttered.

“You can’t out run something like this,” Willow yelled, chasing her down the hall, Xander a step behind her. “And if you leave now, you’ll just be dealing with it alone!”

Faith pulled up in her tracks at the elevator.

“What the hell do you think I’m doing now?” she asked, rapidly pressing the call button for the elevator.

“Gee, I don’t know, running from the people who are trying to help you?” Willow said. “Yeah, that’s a great idea when you’re pregnant. Leave behind anybody who wants to help, leave the guy who ate his pride and asked Giles for money, who has been trying to help you since this started. Yeah, leave behind the guy who is the father of your child. Who will still be the father of your child, even if the kid gets born in some back-alley slum.”

“This isn’t about him!” Faith yelled.

“Of course it’s not about him, it’s about the baby!” Willow replied. “That baby in you is half Xander, and if you think I’m going to miss a chance to spoil Xander’s kid rotten, you’ve got another think coming! It’s going to get the best care money can provide. The Scoobies are going to be here for you on this. We take care of our own. Not always in the best ways, or the smartest, but we sure as heck don’t give up. We are going to help you, Faith, and you’re just going to have to deal with it. You’re not alone in this, and you’re not going to be, so quit spazzing out like a scaredy-Slayer and go back to the apartment!”

Willow could see Xander trying to hide a smile, and realized she had inadvertently gone ‘resolve face’ on Faith. Faith stood there, almost in a state of shock. Willow guessed that girls didn’t usually have the courage to stand up to her, partly because she had the ‘bad girl’ vibe, and partly because of the hotness.

And now Willow had chewed her out twice in as many days. That had to be at least a little impressive.

“Come on,” Xander said softly, reaching out to take the bag from Faith. His hand wrapped over hers, and drew her eyes down to the connection. Faith released the bag, and Xander’s hand, then looked at Willow. She nodded once, and followed Xander back to the apartment.

***

“You know,” Xander said, “we don’t even know for sure that she’s pregnant.” Faith was lacking energy, and had gone to bed for a quick nap before patrol, leaving Xander and Willow to, presumably, let themselves out. They hadn’t, yet.

“Xander,” Willow said, “do you know how rare it is for those tests to give a false positive? False negatives, sure, not often, but occasionally. False positives are… they pretty much don’t happen.”

“Yeah, but this is the Hellmouth,” Xander said. “Anything can happen.”

“Xander, the Hellmouth doesn’t change biology.”

“So, being an invisible girl is biologically normal? Or, you know, the swim team turning into fish people? Or lycanthropy?”

“Okay fine,” Willow said. “So the Hellmouth does mess with biology. But still, it’s really rare! The odds are… astronomical.”

Xander shrugged. “I’m just saying… it’s not a sure thing.”

“I think you’re better off assuming that it is,” Willow said. “It’s not something you want to be caught unprepared for.”

Xander sighed. “I know. But, even if she is pregnant, it’ll still be, like…”

Willow smiled at him. “Just under eight months. Which means –”

“December,” Xander said, his voice full of awe. “I could be a father by December. Faith could be a mother by December. Jesus.”

“Jesus?” Willow asked. “Xander, I don’t think there was anything immaculate about this conception.”

Xander laughed, a smile returning to his face. Willow smiled proudly at him.

“Anyway, don’t you think it would make sense to start planning now?”

Xander nodded silently.

“Okay,” Willow said, gathering her things. “Well, come on. My mom has a list of local doctors, and ratings based on patient inquiries. We can try to choose at least a few, and then Faith can decide once you’re, you know, sure.”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “But, I’ll drop by later. After patrol. If that’s okay.”

“Why?” Willow asked.

Xander shrugged and looked at the door to Faith’s bedroom. “I want to be here when she wakes up.”

Willow looked confused. “Why?”

Xander looked up at her very sincerely, and said, “Because it’s time that somebody was.”

***

Faith lay in her bed. She wasn’t asleep. They thought they were being quiet, but they weren’t. Not to a Slayer. With her eyes closed, facing away from the door, she knew exactly where in the apartment they were, what they were saying, what direction they were facing… how hard the soles of their shoes were.

And she would never admit it to anybody, but her eyes were wet. Willow, who had no reason at all to like her – had in fact made it clear that she didn’t – was doing everything she could to make sure the child Faith was carrying – and Faith was sure, now, that she was carrying it – would be cared for. Would, in fact, have every possible advantage they could muster.

And Xander… what the hell was his deal? ‘Because it’s time that somebody was?’ People didn’t talk like that. People didn’t even think like that, but Willow had just accepted it, like that was the way that he was.

And she knew him better than anybody alive or dead, even including his parents. Not that that surprised her, of course. Her mom hadn’t known shit about her, and Faith had never met her dad. Some doped up loser with just enough blow to get her mom high, if the old lady wasn’t lying.

No reason she should lie, though. She’d never exactly been one for painting pretty pictures out of life, just hanging on long enough to find a guy who’d pay the rent. Faith had been looking after herself since she was seven, and until she’d met Linda, her first watcher. It had taken a while, but she knew Linda had genuinely cared for her.

And then Linda had died. That son-of-a-bitch Kakistos had done… what he’d done, and Faith had just run away. To Sunnydale. Determined not to care about anyone, nor let anybody care about here.

And now here was this guy who said shit like “Because it’s time that somebody was.” Whose best friend in the entire world just accepted that he thought like that. Same best friend which had very recently claimed that the guy in question was starting to fall for Faith.

For the second time in as many hours, Faith was afraid. And not afraid because of something that was real, but because of something that might be. A what-if. What if she was pregnant? But then, people were going to help her deal with that. The other what-if was truly terrifying.

Here was a guy, a good guy – if such a thing existed – who by the only account that mattered was genuinely attracted to her, and the scary part was… what? She was attracted to him? That wasn’t it. Sure, he was pretty nice to look at, and not half-bad in bed – could be a real tiger with some practice – but attracted? To him? Not in any serious way, certainly. So what was so scary?

The possibility, she decided. What if… what if she did become attracted to him? She was trying this new thing of being honest with herself, and the truth was, she wasn’t attracted to him. But she could be. If he kept hanging around, if he kept doing that sort of half-smiling thing every time he got her to laugh, if he kept being an honest-to-God nice guy who seemed to genuinely care?

How could she not at least consider it?

“Okay,” she heard Xander say. “Well, keep the balcony open. I’ll be by after patrol.”

“Okay,” Willow said as she opened the apartment door. “And listen…”

“Yeah?”

“I just… be careful, okay?”

“On patrol? Come on, I’ll be with two Slayers.”

“No, I mean… with…”

Faith heard the floor creak as Xander shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He had turned toward her bedroom door.

“Why would you say –” he started to ask.

“Because I know you. And I know… how you work. I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying… be careful. Please?”

“I don’t think anything…. Okay, Will. I’ll be… careful.”

A second later, Willow shut the door behind her, leaving Xander alone in Faith’s apartment. He walked over and… Jesus. He was doing her dishes. Faith honestly wasn’t sure what to think. After the dishes, he sat on her couch and watched television.

An hour later, after lying on her bed the entire time, practicing her own form of voyeurism and introspection, Faith was once again ready to face the day. Night. Whatever.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Xander greeted her as she left her room. “How was the power nap?”

“Good,” she said. “Where’s Red?”

“Had to go home,” Xander said. “Homework and stuff. She’s a brainy one.” As if Faith didn’t know the truth. He didn’t really tell her why Willow was leaving, so why should she tell him she already knew? Right?

Bullshit.

“How come you’re still here?”

Xander shrugged, and turned back to the TV. Faith walked over behind him. “Hey,” she said, causing him to turn around and look up at her. “How come you’re still here?”

Xander looked into her eyes, and she had to stop her self from shivering. “You looked shaken up earlier,” he said. When did his voice get so calm and reassuring? “I thought you could use a friend.”

Faith looked at him for a moment, before getting a glass of water to wet her suddenly dry throat. “So,” she said. “You wanna grab some food before patrol?”

“Sure,” Xander said. He hopped up from the couch and turned the TV off. He smiled at her warmly. “Wherever you want to go. My treat.”

Faith nodded, grabbed her keys and led him out of the apartment. They were going to get food, she thought. What then?

Ten

The next day was a dreary, rainy day; an oddity for Sunnydale, which lived up to its name just about all year. It pretty much suited Buffy’s mood perfectly. First, it had done absolutely nothing for her hair. That much moisture in